Saturday, December 19, 2009

Hope-n-hagen: Change We Can Believe In

Well as we expected, it was another big disappointment in Copenhagen. Those little people just don’t seem to get it: we won! But over there - in the land whose greatest claim to fame up till now was inventing breakfast pastries - we are 0 for 2.

Big guy took it all in stride and still gave a stirring and articulate read (which you can review, with annotation, over on Dewey’s site). Totus merged the read we’ve been giving to those troublesome blue dogs on our historic health care takeover bill - which is going down in flames - with our extraordinary words on the need for cap & tax trade in order to keep the planet from going down in flames.

BO pulled out all the stops to save our FPF (favorite planet forever). He even commissioned Acorn to design a billboard around one of his favorite slogans (HOPE) and exploiting featuring those adorable kids from Obamacorps.

 obama kids 

But some of our best friends really let us down. First, Hugo Chavez comes up to the podium right after Big Guy speaks and claims that he can still smell sulfur. That’s just rude. And a little juvenile. It was probably the Tex-Mex special they served on Air Force One on the way over.

We really expected a little more support “on the street” too. But Andy Stern decided to have his purple gang skip the summit. He’s using his “muscle” instead to protest Big Guy’s healthcare bill, just because it doesn’t have a public option (yet). Boy, no matter how much money you throw at some people, you get no loyalty guarantee. These guys might as well be politicians.


Bad enough they didn’t turn out to support our global warming effort, but worse, the SEIU did send some clown in from L.A. just to taunt us. Big Guy didn’t like that a bit. He likes to do all the taunting himself.


MO and O  were back at the Big White, monitoring the event in real time. When it became obvious that we were going down in flames (along with the rest of the planet), they decided to monetize the disaster. So beginning with the new year, Lady M is going to personally embrace global warming and make it a positive part of our brand: HOTTER THAN EARTH copy

Because let’s face it, the planet isn’t really melting. And this White House gig isn’t going to last forever.