Friday, December 18, 2009

Warming Hearts and Minds In Copenhagen

Well, you’ve probably heard by now that we couldn’t talk Big Guy out of taking another heart breaking trip to Copenhagen. We fully expect that he will come home empty handed, but Gibbsy assured Toes that he will have talking points ready to help the supportive press see this as a historic and robust step forward no matter what.

Obama Fort Hood

TOTUS told me BO has loaded two extraordinary reads on his hard drive: one that praises Americans for electing him so that this historic deal could be reached, and one apologizing for the harm Americans have done before he was elected.


Although they had a swell time when they were here last fall,Lady M and Oprah decided to stay home this time, so that we could focus all the blame for the failure to reach a carbon deal on State Department fall-gal, Hillary. It seems she can’t get the Chinese to accept our demand for “transparency” in monitoring CO2 limit compliance. Apparently Hil has not properly clarified for the Chinese what Big Guy means by “transparency”.

I’m a little disappointed because I was really looking forward to all the snow that Al Gore arranged so that the attendees could see what it used to be like in Copenhagen before we gave the planet a fever. And, as you regulars know, we’ve assembled a stunning wardrobe of insulated outfits that would have been perfect.

From what I’ve seen so far though, the little people down on the street are not as cute or happy as the Oslots. Gibbsy says they are anarchists. Maybe it’s just me, but they look more like communists.

commiesFrankly, they scare me a little, but Big Guy says they are completely harmless. We’ve been monitoring the conference from the Big White, and it looks like everyone is having a lot of fun. Except maybe for the cops. So far my favorite part has been watching the snowball fight between the global warming “anarchists” and the capitalist ghosts who changed our climate. They’re not keeping score, but it looks like the capitalists are losing.