Friday, October 21, 2011

Winning The Future With Some MOves On Our 2012 Ticket. WTF?

I know many of you are feeling sorry for Big Guy: he spent so much time personally crafting his JOBS JOBS JOBS bill while he was supposed to be taking it easy on vacation, and now he can’t even get support from all of his previously unwavering  Democratic sycophants supporters in Congress. bo helloThanks Guys! I never thought I’d get this many notches in my gun!

Sure, he got a little boost yesterday by whacking Qaddafi, butt how long can that last? Not long enough. That’s another thing, our timing isn’t as good as it should be either. We needed this hit NEXT October, not this October. I blame Hillary.

Butt I just want to let you know that you don’t have to be concerned about the JOBS bill. See, in politics “NOT passing the bill now” is what’s known as a “win-win.” We don’t actually have to spend the $35 billion that we don’t have and can’t afford, (and then have to hear about that from the Tea Party now until the election) butt it also provides us with continuing optics vilifying the heartless R-words right through next November. Big Guy can haul his Big Black Canadian Bus all over the country for the next 12 months, blaming the R-words for causing an increase in rapes, robberies and murders as well as the continuing recession.

You may recognize this game from way back in ‘09 when a variation of it was deployed, successfully, in order to coerce the loyal opposition into jumping on board with Obamacare.

strawman bingoStrawman Bingo: Washington’s existential game of rhetorical nihilism.

Butt this time it’s even better. Every single R-word is a straw man that must be fought to the death: and like the zombies they are, they just won’t die. The entire charade provides impressive optics, and it doesn’t cost a dime!

strawman r-wordsRepublicans want to fire cops, teachers, fireman, throw granny over the cliff and kill your babies with poison air and water. Otherwise, they would pass my JOBS bill NOW!

Which reminds me: I think I’ve figured out why Joey B has been so testy lately. Have you seen our new campaign bumper stickers?

obama No “BO and Joe, together again?” No “The WON and the DUMB re-run?” Just BarackObama? No wonder Joey sounds like he’s been off his meds lately.

And it seems even Politico is making fun of him openly now. Did you see their article: “Joe Biden ‘Plugs’ Job Bill” ? That’s just mean.

As Politico went on to explain, Joey went on a tirade on Capital Hill, striking fear into Americans’ hearts by telling them that we’re all going to be raped, robbed and murdered because the heartless Rebublicans won’t pass another “temporary” stimulus bill to fund cops, firefighters and - most important – teachers. “There’s nothing temporary about kindergarten being eliminated … There’s nothing temporary about a life saved during a home invasion or a robbery…about your house burning to ground,” he told the crowd in some of the most fiery rhetoric we’ve every heard from Joey B. Alas, I’m afraid the only thing “temporary” around here might be, well, Joey.

joey“Yeah, just stand there and WTF for us, Joe.”

Wow! If Joe’s not on the ticket next time around that does open up a lot of possibilities doesn’t it?


eva and juan3 Do the names Eva and Juan Peron mean anything to you?

          eva and juan.2bmp

Funny, I would have expected to see the Perons behind bars first.

I may need to update Lady M’s plausible denial of political aspiration from last summer should one of these finalists in the 2012 bumper sticker sticker contest turn out to be the Chosen Won:



WON&TON copy
And you thought Lady M was getting down to fighting weight just for Big Guy! Sweet thought, butt the truth is she’s expecting to have even more “skin the the game” than last time around. And with distinguished scholars like Thomas Sowell (although I’ve heard he was another one of those Uncle Toms) saying things like “Herman Cain is more Black than Big Guy” we are going to need all the racial authenticity that Lady M can bring to the party. After all, Big Guy didn’t marry her just for her good looks and charm:

To the laughter of the service people he added, "See for you men out there who are not yet married, let me explain. The whole goal is to marry up--to try to improve your gene pool."

bo mo pump truck

I think Granny can turn these pumpkins into big black motor coaches Buh-rock. Otherwise, we’ll just have Chef turn them into pies.


bo mo smoochie

Sweet: The Original and Best WTF Team


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