Friday, July 9, 2010

One Leak We Did Plug

OK, let me get this out of the way right up front:

natexaminer

As you know, I’ve been on assignment here at Big White imaging and projecting our nation’s First Ladies since the Reagan administration. And I think I’ve done a pretty darned good job of remaining apolitical in what seems to become a more and more partisan milieu with each incoming administration.  

And while I’ve seen my share of marital spats (Bill and Hill) and  POTUS/FLOTUS snipings at the VPOTUS/SLOTUS (Bill and Hill again, but then, who could blame them) I must say I’ve never heard any of my FLOTUS-es trash-talking their predecessors or successors even in the family chambers, let alone publically. It’s simply not done.

So what am I to do, now that someone with a really big mouth  leaked Lady M’s snarky comments about Laura to that nosey National Examiner?  In MO’s behalf I can say this:

Mean_Michelle_Obama

She has issues that pre-date the move to the Big White, and she did have a few pops before those hateful words escaped her attention. And all I can say, officially, is that no one is happier than I am that bigmouth Desiree is gone. She never met a reporter she didn’t like.

desi  You can’t keep that woman’s lips sealed with crazy glue.

So take a look at what the NE printed, thanks to Dezi’s “insight:

Michelle Obama is furious that she only got a passing mention in Laura Bush’s best-selling memoir and feels that she’s being snubbed by the former First Lady, say sources.

“Michelle is fuming that she was just an afterthought in Laura’s book,” reveals a Washington insider: “she’s taking it as a personal slight.”  Laura didn’t mention Michelle until page 426 of her book, Spoken From The Heart, and at that point she only briefly recalled showing the then First-Lady-to be around the White House.

Shortly after their White House meeting, Laura added fuel to the fire by saying in a TV interview that Michelle, 46, didn’t ask for any advice when she visited the White House — and they mostly talked about closets.

“That really set Michelle off,” says the insider:  “here she is, an accomplished career woman who helped to orchestrate her husband’s historic run for the Presidency, and Laura makes her sound like a dimwit who’s only interested in closet space.”

This whole controversy unveils the ugly downside of narcissistic personality disorder: when you think everything is about you, you occasionally overlook key issues relating to others. In this case, Lady M missed the fact that Laura Bush’s book, Spoken From The Heart was really about, um, Laura, not her.

bushcover Besides, closet space is very important to Lady M. She needs one for her mini-me sweaters, one for her shoes, one for her bangles, one for her Cheetos and Stoli, and one for Big Guy. (full disclosure: there’s even a tiny one buried way in the back for me, Raj, Bo and   Little Mo to hide out in.)

But the story gets worse, as reported by Admin Girl (who also includes some practical recycling tips):

The story  goes on to talk about how Michelle referred to Laura as “Mrs. Bozo” and said it looked as though she’d decorated the White House from a “very bad garage sale,” recalls another source.  She also said that once they replaced the Bushes in the White House, she was going to “give all the furnishing to the homeless–if the homeless would take that junk!”

NYT2008121617241800C

Laura, in comfortable chair, and Lady M, sitting on the “junk”

I can report that Laura used a decorator who specialized in historic preservation, but the ever fashion forward Lady M used one of the hottest decorators in LA in an effort to spiff up the Big White. You may think Lady M’s remarks about Laura sound mean spirited, but the proper way to frame it is to understand that Lady M just really doesn’t want anything around to remind her of all those years before she was proud to be an American.

And what is style after all? It always boils down to a matter of taste.

 laura laura and beazley  laura-bush-240   

Who would you pick to decorate your home?

 fistbumpingdwarfsALeqM5iYMnFJzr3Dmu5mBeLcqC_KtSpGng fist bump  

You won’t be able to put your hands on a copy of this edition of the National Examiner if you don’t already have one. Homeland Security was able to pull all the copies off newsstands across America by late last night.

So don’t anyone tell me that Homeland Security can’t protect the American people from harmful threats. The only thing they don’t seem to be able to do is secure the damn border or plug the damn hole.

H/T Larwyn and her Linx

77 comments:

  1. (closet) one for Big Guy Motus, I love you.

    Laura Bush didn't like MO because of her middle name: LaVaughn. Even though some of MO's best friends had middlenames like Bunny and Muffy, Mrs Bush could never get beyond that name.

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  2. Well, for pete's sake, why would MO ask a 'typical white woman' for advice anyway.  I mean, look how fuddy-duddy and blah Ms Bush dresses while MO is a hottie, fashion icon beloved for her toned arms and style.  snort.

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  3. I just want to say that I read you every day, it is my guiltiest pleasure. Thanks for all the laughs.

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  4. Motus - Once again you outdid yourself.  I. Love. This. Blog.  Thanks for the laughs.....you are too much. 

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  5. keenespointe@gmail.comJuly 9, 2010 10:18 AM

    I had never been proud to be an American until MO became FLOTUS!  She has so much more class than any other FLOTUS in history.  Comparing the pictures of Laura Bush and MO on this post support my position.  Just look at the terrible impression LB makes.  Because of her groundbreaking life, MO has made is possible for other classy American (or non-American and un-American) women to become FLOTUSes, such as Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan!  You go gurl!

    If only LB and GWB had been doing fist bumps the rest of the world would have loved us for those eight years. 

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  6. MichelleIndependentJuly 9, 2010 10:38 AM

    MOO's just jealous because Laura didn't devote an entire
    chapter in praise of MOO's purple toenails.

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  7. This is how a homeless woman would look in one of Mrs. Obozo's crassy outfits.

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  8. Oops!  The homeless woman is actually a man, which is probably more "fitting" since they have the same build.

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  9. BOzo seemed to get right to it.  In redecorated the Oval he  placed a picture of magazine cover of of himself walking on water, where the bust of Winston Churchill once occupied a place of honor:
    http://www.westernjournalism.com/obama-replaces-churchill-bust-with-magazine-cover-of-him-walking-on-water/
    The O s' concept of redecoration can be summed up:

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  10. Here's what the WH looks like after MOO redecorated. 

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  11. Madame DeFargeJuly 9, 2010 2:03 PM

    Oh, look MOTUS another Leftie Troll!  Wait, she's just snarking.  I'd say that Lindsay and FFA are equals.  Neither of them know S**t from Shinola.

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  12. MichelleIndependentJuly 9, 2010 2:07 PM

    Side-by-side comparison with the ever elegant and classy Laura Bush reinforces what we all know: Miss Michelle Obnoxious, Miss MOO, claims another historic award--the messiest FLOTUS and biggest laughingstock ever.

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  13. Great post--

    To compare Laura with Michelle is like comparing smooth chocolate with sticky taffy! What other comparisons can we make between the two former First Ladies?  Food stuffs please!                                                                
    Steamed fresh asparagus with mashed peas (the Brits love this concoction -- we always felt it tasted like -- well, mashed pea mush!).

    Fresh plump red tomatoes with canned cut up tomato bits! 

    Fresh rich whipping cream with buttermilk.

    ---More anybody?

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  14. Madame DeFargeJuly 9, 2010 2:11 PM

    MOTUS, the First Narcissist should be taken out to the woodpile, behind the barn for the comments he made about Malia.  He pointed out that she's a teenager but already 5'9" and now that she has braces doesn't look "too old" to be his "baby".  And he did this in a public speech.  That horrible POS.  If I had the misfortune to have him in my family, I'd slap him silly but we are civil to one another and don't practice humiliation of the young or any person.  Condescendention breeds contempt.  He already has mine and he's going to earn the contempt of his children too.  Every day another outrage from these ghetto fools.

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  15. MichelleIndependentJuly 9, 2010 2:12 PM

    Freshly baked French baguette compared to week-old moldly, grody, cheap, air-puffed bread LOL

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  16. <p><span>Thanks, MOTUS for all the pictures of LB & MO.<span>   </span>Pictures of contrasts: bland, boring and traditional vs. cutting edge, fashion forward, ground-breaking (really, no pun intended!) style icon.<span>   What</span> others may perceive as pushing the envelope, crossing the line etc, is actually MO’s intent be ‘historic!’<span>  </span>And <span> </span>in her ‘unprecedented’ position to go beyond the traditional role of FL to be: fashion icon extraordinaire, champion of kids with fat behinds and a defender of whose who defend our nation and our freedom. /sarc.</span></p>

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  17. Madame DeFargeJuly 9, 2010 2:13 PM

    I had heard that FFA was going with Pottery Barn for the family quarters.  Sounds right.  She knows nothing of American history...except that we are really, really mean to Blacks.

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  18. You're so correct, but if you slapped him it might be too much for his diminutive frame.

     I have to congratulate BO for coming out of the closet today in Vegas.

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  19. Raspberry frappe and a shit sandwich.

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  20. <p><span>The tastes of the O’s extend beyond their decorating the Big White and MO’s fashion statements.<span>  </span>Here’s how the nouveau riche Obamas throw a party:</span>
    </p><p><span>http://hotair.com/greenroom/archives/2010/05/22/nouveau-riche-obamas-pour-it-on-at-state-dinner/</span>
    </p><p><span>and check out the table setting at the first state dinner, tacky, tacky, tacky:</span>
    </p><p> </p>

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  21. Moo puts the 'noveau' in riche..
    The problem with this article is that it's believable.
    All the nail salons on the South Side have been wiped clean of tabloids this week.

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  22. <p><span>I had wondered if and when one of MO’s ex-assistants would spill the beans (in the context of the Sara N ex-maid’s published account of alleged abuse) or just give some inside scoop.<span>  </span>Didn’t think Desi had it in her!  As for MO, karma will come back to bite you each time.</span></p>

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  23. Bettyann

    I can't stop laughing over the "shit sandwich!"  If you don't mind, I have one that's kind of similar:

    Perfectly grilled ribeye steak and creamed chipped beef on toast, aka, shit on a shingle.

    A chilled pear martini (made with Grey Goose and pear puree) and a lukewarm glass of Metamucil.

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  24. I love you too Granny.

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  25. Welcome, and thank you soooo much for coming. The laughs are on the house.

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  26. Now I'm getting red in the lens!

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  27. <p><span>MOTUS, maybe you can shed some light on this.<span>  </span>It is being reported that that Big White is shrine to BO (and maybe MO, but mostly BO) :
    </span><span>http://www.sodahead.com/united-states/the-wh---the-obama-shrine/blog-254231/</span>
    </p><p><span>That all the portraits of his predecessors have been removed and replaced with pictures of himself and his family. <span> </span>It makes sense on so many levels: BO’s apparent apathy towards history (except of course their ‘historic’ ascension to<span>  </span>power) , MO’s never being proud of her country till her husband began winning in the presidential primaries and most importantly because they “are the ones we’ve been waiting for”.<span>  </span>Or was it for this<span>  </span>simple reason? :</span></p>

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  28. That's just scary.

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  29. Oh, I love a contest and what could be better than a one involving Lady M and food?

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  30. The Wee Wons deserve better. They’re just little girls.

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  31. It’s like they say, “you can’t make this stuff up.” But even when you do, it’s still believable. That’s the scariest part!

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  32. It’s really not fair of me to do FLOTUS comparisons, because we only have one historic, fashion forward Won.

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  33. "It's not easy being green."

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  34. I'm speechless from ROFLMAO-ing!

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  35. While I’m not authorized to give that information out, I can say that there are pictures in Big White of people other than the Wons. At least in my bunker. I’ve got pictures of Ronaldus Magnus, W, Dick Cheney and Barry Goldwater.

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  36. MichelleIndependentJuly 9, 2010 5:09 PM

    It's very believable that the Bitter One would open her low-rent trap and take a dig at Laura.

    Michelle O is ugly to the core--what an ugly witch!

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  37. I could not agree more.
    If I say anything else, MOTUS will ban me forever......

    Did the same sort of thing when interviewed by Israeli Channel 2. Jews must be "suspicious" of him because his "middle name is Hussein".  Could never be his ignorant foreign policy or his horrible treatment of their Prime Minister.

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  38. I'd forgotten. I did the video of it that was pretty popular for a while.

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  39. That's too funny, Granny, J.  Awesome!

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  40. MO's been sitting on the "junk" so long she doesn't know quality from tacky. *DONT_KNOW*

    Good on Desi, nice get even!!  LOL

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  41. Mo is pretty creepy.....at least your description of her.

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  42. Laura, stuffed Portabello mushrooms
    MO, poisonous toadstools

    :-D

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  43. We all KNOW it will bite her in the largest part of her anatomy, LOL

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  44. <p><span>If BO’s muzzling of the media were not so serious, it would be funny.<span>  </span>Whether it is the FCC chief trying to pass the supposed ‘fairness’ doctrine to selectively silence some parts of the media (think conservative talk radio) or the media being shut out from covering the oil spill or something on a much larger scale: </span>
    </p><p><span>http://www.independent.co.ug/index.php/news/news/77-news/2428-govt-plot-to-muzzle-press-freedom-leaks</span><span> things look pretty bleak.<span>  </span>Can Chevez-like government control of media be far behind?</span>
    </p><p><span>In an ironic twist, the media which should be outraged by the usurping of their rights, and speaking out against it, seem to be willing accomplices in all of this.<span>  </span>At least the MSM (or should I say, LSM) is.<span>  </span>Thankfully, the new media (the blogosphere et al) has picked up the ball that the MSM so willfully and pathetically dropped and has run with it.<span>  </span>And people are waking up and being active/activists themselves, realizing, “all that is necessary for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing.”<span>  </span>And thanks, MOTUS for all you do to keep us informed, motivated while making us laugh!</span>
    </p><p><span>One final note, if they think they have plugged the leak (on the media front, anyway) they have another thing coming.<span>  </span>Truth will out.<span>  </span>It can’t be held back/suppressed, it will seep out no matter what, eventually.<span>  </span>Kinda like this (kindly observe top of MO’s dress!) <span> </span>:</span></p>

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  45. MichelleIndependentJuly 9, 2010 7:12 PM

    I wonder if they (WH help)  have to sign some type of confidentiality agreement.

    I do recall reading in the Globe (I think) that Michelle Obnoxious was mean to the WH staff. It's so believable. We can all imagine her being a witch on wheels with no class or tact.

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  46. Madame D, I see what you mean.  What purpose (other than embarassing his daughter and end up sounding rather weird and creepy) does saying, "[Malia's] got braces, which is good, because she looks like a kid and she was getting - she's starting to look to old for me" serve?  It was a clumsy, needless invoking of his 12 year old in a public speech.  BO would be better of, if he stopped ad libbing and straying even an inch from TOTUS!

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  47. I couldn't agree more.  Look at the picture of her on the cover of NE: the angry, sharpie'd eyebrows; the contorted, clown-like, wide open mouth (I'm sure we can add many more - BTW, disclaimer: MOTUS had no part in it) The only consolation: we don't have to see what is she is wearing, her vicious and hate-filled heart, or hear what she is saying.

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  48. If, at just 12, Malia 'is starting to look too old' for him, where does that leave MO?

    Is that the reason for all her kiddie-type, "Look, Mommy, I dressed myself!" outfits?  So she can look younger for him?

    Just a'wonderin', here in still-quite-warm Chicago....

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  49. GJ, I had not seen this. Thanks for reposting. I would have to say one of your very best. Absolutely loved it. BO in the Abraham Lincoln hat ... Bwahahaha times 10.

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  50. Stand Up ChuckJuly 9, 2010 9:11 PM

    Moo is so tacky.  These remarks have been out for a while.  When I became aware of them, I couldn't believe she would say anything so crass about the always lovely Laura Bush.  I was trying to give MOO a chance hoping she would rise to the position but obviously not.  She has a lot of crass.

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  51. Michelle LaVaughn Obama

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=37ikXB7lP2w


    I'm allowed to use meiskeit because, well, I just am ;)

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  52. Decisions, decisions...what to wear to an Oil Spill.  Kitten heels are out, white pants are too risky, a halter top might work,  OF COURSE!!  the outfit I wore on AF1 in Arizona!!  No, wait..doesn't fit anymore.  My sleeveless, cleavage showing fou-fou dress with all the gathers that hides my, um, behind and my purple tennis shoes.   OK, I feel better now.
    Damn that Rahm,  sends me to Haiti to look at an earthquake and now I'm going to 'view' an Oil Spill (like I can do anything about it).  I'm going to have to hug a bunch of poor 'shrimpers' whatever they are and a lot of sad, sweaty people.  Ugh.

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  53. that last shot of lavaughn in the black and white number reminds me of the cow at Chik-fil-a.

    Great vid GJ. I enjoy your work. 

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  54. Laura is a rare Prime Rib
    MO is an overdone broiled liver (without even onions to soften the blow)

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  55. The first rule of doing something monochrome (an outfit or a table setting) is that the colors should actually be the same, not almost-the-same.

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  56. Excuse me, what do you have against buttermilk?

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  57. Thanks, my favorite was the Carla pic: LaVaughn is French.

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  58. I think BO needs an intervention or at the very least a hamburger:

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  59. An oldie, butt a goodie!

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  60. That you can use meiskeit? This someone should question? Oi! Gevalt!

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  61. OMG, you’re channeling MO!

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  62. We should have kept Desi on the team. This is why LBJ kept J. Edgar “...inside the tent...”

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  63. keenespointe@gmail.comJuly 10, 2010 10:00 AM

    All greens are the same!  Oops, I think that should be all  environmentalists are the same.

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  64. PortiaElizabethJuly 10, 2010 11:27 AM

    But we should remember, the O's were going to make us a color-blind society.  After looking at MO's fashion forward choices, I sometimes wish I were blind.

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  65. PortiaElizabethJuly 10, 2010 11:29 AM

    Watercress and collard greens.

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  66. PortiaElizabethJuly 10, 2010 11:31 AM

    Maybe we should call her mooveau riche.

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  67. MichelleIndependentJuly 10, 2010 11:45 AM

    Newsbird came up with the best name for Michelle:

    Tacky-O!

    http://newsbird.wordpress.com/2010/07/10/sick-of-tacky-o/

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  68. Excellent Granny J.  Thanks for the Saturday morning laugh!

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  69. Motus, you're going to Maine. I knew the Obamas couldn't vacate until afer she visited the small, oily people.

    They are going to Arcadia National Park for a long weekend. Apparently, going after the moose vote. The lobsters will have to be flown in.

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  70. He acted so goofy when talking, couldn't form a coherent sentence. Drunk? High on something?

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  71. PortiaElizabeth that is a plus ten on the Richter Scale of humor. ROFLMAO :-D

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  72. Not even a long weekend. Friday until Sunday.  The last time we went to Maine, that's just about how long it took us to get to Bar Harbor and Mount Desert Island and back out again.  Rte 1 will be a disaster scene and the locals will NOT be happy.  The ones we met are not into wighats, false eyelashes, blue toenails, and other glitzy stuff.

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  73. http://www.bangordailynews.com/detail/148373.html

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  74. Must be a hotsy totsy place. I went to summer camp in Maine near the White Mountains. We went on trips but we never went to any islands. It must be beautiful.

    Didn't BHO just tell us to vacation in the Gulf?

    I guess they'll be going there in August.  ha ha

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  75. Mount Desert Island - most of which is Acadia National Park - is lovely and scenic.  Rugged.  Is it for the O's?  I'd say not.

    But she'll fall headfirst into the lobster and martinis and that will take up the full two days.

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