Tuesday, July 5, 2011

An Obama 4th of July: Seals, Sheets and Suds

A Little Traveling Music courtesy of Brian Hyland:

Now I know why I was dispatched from Camp David to make sure that Lady M’s organic garden of versus was in tip top shape: the Wons were throwing their annual 4th of July party for our Military and their families.

Since it was for the troops I really don’t mind, butt I sure have been twitchy ever since I pulled the last of the weeds. I don’t think it’s poison ivy, because I’m feeling all crawly but it’s all on the inside of my frame. I’d suspect one of those pesky potato bugs, but I think Little Mo ate all of them. So I’m betting it’s another one of those darn centipedes; I had one before, and they wreak havoc with my hard drive.

Anyway, the Wons got back in time to rest a bit before greeting the troops with big smiles:

steppin out Lady M’s little sundress was a lovely African batik print in traditional red, blue and…uh, black. It’s positively…uh, versatile!

Lady M’s dress from Sophie Thealett looks like it was made out of a  1970’s Marimekko sheet - which seems an odd era to recycle, given the economy and all. And the ruffled Lanvin sandals really complete the festive look. Butt I sure wish Big Guy could find a reliable tailor who could make his shirts fit a little bit better:

4th of JulyThis little r-word doesn't look too happy either

Maybe it’s just that centipede making me so hyper-sensitive, butt it sure looks to me like those shoulder seams go about 5 inches beyond his collar bone. Maybe they were intended to have shoulder pads. I don’t know, I’m not a seamstress. They just look a little funny to me. Butt, like I said, maybe it’s just that centipede.

Anyway, here’s the good news: The POTUS seal is back!

hail chiefI, POTUS. Not to be confused with iPHotus (bitch). And BTW, that shirt definitely does NOT fit.

I’m sure you heard about the POTUS seal escaping from the Beast (that’s Secret Service code for Big Guy’s Presidential limo) last week while Big Guy was roaring through Philly on the way to an emergency fund raiser. I’ll grant you it wasn’t a really large seal, given the size of the limo and all:


Butt since it is emblematic of Big Guy’s legitimate powers, he’s a little sensitive whenever it decides to take a leap to freedom. After what ensued following last October’s unfortunate incident involving improper hanging support personnel, we do NOT take these matters lightly.


October, 2010, the seal falls off:

POTUS comes tumbling down


now you see it

Now you see it, now you don’t:

fortune's most powerful dcThat little incident ushered in a month of complete paranoia, in which Big Guy refused to trust anyone to properly affix his seal.

That meant we had to go seal-less for the entire month of stumping leading up to the November bloodbath setback:

FireShot-FireShot-_110-22 still no seal

noseal deval patrick boston 1016delaware

now you don'tDamn! Still not there.

It finally re-emerged following the November elections, after staff personnel had been adequately retrained in proper fastening techniques.

jackie when women wore gloves

seal is back for press conferenceSeal_of_the_POTUS_sPOTUS seal affixers: 2 more jobs created or saved @ $278,000

We no sooner put that crisis behind us, when the wheels started to fall off the economy (that the Republicans drove into the ditch), and the wheels started to, literally, fall off our car company. 

And then, the POTUS seal fell of again!

We don’t really need any more metaphors around here.

So yesterday we just focused on entertaining the troops and their kids at our picnic. The Wee Wons were only allowed to show up for a few minutes because Big Guy and Lady M dIdn’t want to take any chances on turning them into R-words when they grow up.

Our soldiers didn’t seem to be as worried about that, and brought all their kids for the whole afternoon and evening celebration.


Although some of the little children didn’t seem all that thrilled with the opportunity to meet the Won. Like this little fella:

look at this little R-word

…and this little girl looks a little apprehensive:

another r-word  and these two don’t look all that happy either:another r-word looking not so happy


This little r-word doesn't look too happy either

And even the baby looks like he’s giving Big Guy a hard time:

this baby's pretty heavySheeze, how much does this kid weigh?

Or maybe the kids just weren’t impressed with Big Guy’s Elvis impersonation:

BG's Elvis impersonation

Don’t worry though, everybody enjoyed the food (burgers, dogs, watermelon and ice cream), beer, Coke AND Pepsi (we’re counting on support from both companies in reaching our billion dollar campaign goal), the bands and the fireworks.


Happy Birthday America! Hang in there! Reinforcements are on the way!

Whoops! Forgot my H/T to Bijou.