Let’s start Friday off with a little traveling music. Today’s theme: Gurl-friend!
To All the Girls I’ve Loved Before: Willie and Julio
I know you’ve all heard about Big Guy’s second composite girlfriend by now: #Julia, who is being exploited like crazy over at #Compositewoman. It looks to me like a blatant continuation of the Republican War on Women.
For one thing there are a lot of offensive jokes flying around over there, like this one: “What’s the difference between a composite girlfriend and a pit bull? I already told you: a pit bull is delicious.”
And all the stupid tweets that everyone has been posting are not helping either.
Here’s what we know about Julia so far: when she grows up, she’s liberal, slutty, large bosomed, completely malleable – did I mention liberal?
As it turns out, BO’s “original” (pre-Julia) “composite” girlfriend from “Dreams” was actually a “compression” of Big Guy’s imagination. Good thing the girlfriend was white though, because that kind of “compression” might be considered racist had he “compressed” black women that way.
Butt the girlfriend compression (GFC) – along with Big Guy’s preference for angry black women (boy, that explains a thing or two!) - is just the tip of the iceberg. The other revelations in David Maraniss’ new Big Obama Book are beginning to make the cabal that placed the turtle on the post veddy, veddy nervous – if you know what I mean. Could their composite “Barry Sotero-Baraka-Barack-Buh-rock Obama” be coming undone?
Yet, make no mistake, this is a dangerous book for Obama, and White House staffers have been fretting about it in a low-grade way for a long, long time — in part because it could redefine the self-portrait Obama skillfully created for himself [ed. with an assist from “some guy in the neighborhood”] in 1995 with “Dreams from My Father.”
The success of “Dreams” has given Obama nearly complete control of his own life narrative, an appealing tale that has been the foundation of his political success. But Maraniss’s biography threatens that narrative by questioning it [ed. odd, isn’t it, that nobody in the MSM thought to “question” that narrative in “Dreams” for the first 18 years following its publication? I mean, since Big Guy ran for president and everything?]: Was Obama’s journey entirely spiritual and intellectual? Or was it also grounded in the lower realms of ambition and calculation? [ed. You mean like Jimmy Carter?]
Danger! Danger! Danger! Do not pay any attention to that man behind the curtain!
Certain people are beginning to grow suspicious that Big Guy, as we know him, is made up completely of, uh, “compressed” memories of god-like legends. This of course has led some people to start questioning those funny scars on his scalp again,
and has others citing the neck scars,
All of which raises the specter of a Manchurian Candidate once again.
Me, I’m suspect of the big ears. Normal people don’t have ears that big do they?
Butt back to Mr. Maraniss’ book:
“This book is about the world that created Barack Obama and how he refashioned himself,” Maraniss said in a Vanity Fair interview that accompanied excerpts of the book Wednesday. “I have done extensive research for all of his years leading up the White House…”
So I’m just wondering why nobody else thought to do this – “extensive research,” I mean, before the last presidential election? I hate to say it, butt this does give legs to that whole turtle-on-post cabal conspiracy theory. Say! Maybe David Marannis can look into that three years after the next election!
Anyway, since the first GFC worked out so well in real life, Big Guy’s crack campaign team thought “why not a GFC for the campaign too?” And that’s how #Julia came to be.
We do seem to be getting a little blowback along the lines of “Who the hell is “Julia” and why am I paying for her whole life?” Butt the real issue, as pointed out by Fausta, is that Julia was born 3 years ago and at a projected age of 67, Big Guy is still President.
That would make Big Guy what? 114? Goodness! That Obamacare must be working out really well! Even so, at that point he really will look like Morgan Freeman!
Until then, I guess we’ll all just have to live out our fantasies as best we can.
Miss Me Yet?