Ok, I was only half serious before about Dr. Laura Ingra-ham cheesing in on my federal jurisdiction to make up stories about the O’s under the Supremacy Clause of the Constitution, but this… well, this was just the last straw:
She has apparently paid both Big Guy and Lady M off to hawk her dumb book! I can’t blame them, they’re just underpaid public servants sacrificing for their country and trying to scrape enough money together to fill the Wee Wons’ college fund. But that Dr. Laura! Why, she’s shameless.
And she’s not even satisfied with the book – now she’s blogging daily about the O’s! (or at least until she’s done with the book tour)
I’m still waiting to hear back from Ricky about the status of my Supremacy Clause violation case.
I’m a little concerned because of the directive Ricky issued at the DOJ instructing attorneys in the civil rights division to ignore cases that involve black defendants and white victims.
I’m beginning to think there might be some confusion concerning my racial DNA: since I’m a mirror, I reflect whatever ethnicity is standing in front of me. If they still have my Bush administration reflection on file, they probably have me classified as “Caucasian” which of course is not technically correct anymore.
Anyway, I think - given Justice’s directive and this whole racial confusion business - I better seek additional legal assistance from the private sector. I’m assuming Professor William A. Jacobson is on vacation, since I haven’t heard back from him yet. I think I’ll get a hold of Fox News because they seem to have a lot of lawyers over there and most of them are hot. Of course my first choice would be Megyn Kelley. I’m sure we all enjoyed her smack-down of Kirsten Powers the other day:
That’s more or less the sort of representation I’m interested in. But I would also be pleased to be represented by Greta Van Susteren or even Lis Wiehl, although I’d like her to take a few b**ch-slapping lessons from Megyn before I sign her up. I had Judge Andrew Napolitano in my tweet-queue, but now that he’s calling for the indictment of GWB and the real Dick Cheney, I think I’m going to have to wave him off until he comes to his senses.
So, there you have it. I still believe that I have federal jurisdiction and have a sound case under the Supremacy Clause for getting Dr. Laura Ingra-ham’s book pulled from the shelves and all royalties recalled. (That Motion of Preliminary Injunction sure would come in handy.)
Unfortunately Toes has not authorized my emergency request for the complete legal course work and Bar Exam Review, so I’m relying on Legalzoom.com until such time as I hear back from one of my legal beagles.
If any of you out there are Constitution lawyers, give me a tweet.