Thursday, July 15, 2010

Get Your Chakra On: For Free, Dog!

Yesterday Lady M announced another exciting new program from her house to your house: Free Lunch! Yes, for anyone getting new health insurance coverage starting this fall, Big Insurance will now have to provide dozens of expensive tests/services – FOR FREE!

mfa. reallyMFA: Not what you think

Lady M went to George Washington University to announce these popular new gimmes rules requiring health insurance companies to provide free coverage for dozens of screenings, tests and other types of preventive care.

The rules will eliminate co-payments, deductibles and other charges for blood pressure, diabetes and cholesterol tests; many cancer screenings; routine vaccinations; prenatal care; and regular wellness visits for infants and children.

Other services that must be offered at no charge include counseling to help people stop smoking; screening and counseling for obesity; and tests for infection with the virus that causes AIDS.


jill and mo

Lady M was there because this has something to do with America’s kids’ fat behinds and because she likes to announce positive developments coming out of the Big White.  Health and Human Services Secretary Kathleen Sebelius was there because she’s in charge of America’s Health. And Human Services. And Dr. Jill Biden was there because, well, because she’s a doctor. In Education. And that could be helpful for people who don’t know how you can give away stuff for FREE!

Although we might be better off just hiring a good PR firm. Because when those “private insurance” companies that are providing you with the “coverage you like” go belly-up and turn into Big Government Subsidized Insurance Provider that emits the whiff of “socialized medicine” no matter how much disinfectant you spray on it, we’re going to have some ‘splaining to do around here.

   x610Note that we got the tar baby stains out of our white top, but the bleach seems to have caused a bit of yellowing on the fabric.

Just for the record, I don’t have the benefit of an Ivy League education like the O’s both have. But I do have an economics pack containing the complete works of Milton Friedman, and he definitely said “There is no such thing as a free lunch.” I think what he meant by that was, well, NO. FREE. LUNCH.


Butt, there are many advantages to free lunches, such as:

Treatments for the prevention of alcohol abuse, depression and obesity.

And Planned Parenthood is very hopeful too:

“Avoiding unintended pregnancy is one of the most important medical issues for women,"

So they hope all forms of birth control will qualify as a preventative service for free.

So I’m checking with Algore, because I believe that therapeutic chakra massages could qualify as a preventative birth control method, free of charge. I thought he might know.

 fat-al-gore-pray “Poodle Prophet”