Can you believe it? 2014 already!
2013 was difficult to recap. There were so many new beginnings:
So many ethnic costumes to rock:
So many memorable trips to Africa:
“See this cell? That’s all I’m going to say. Right?”
So many phony scandals to dismiss;
Butt without a doubt the biggest story of the year took place at the intersection of dark energy and black holes; to wit, the launch of the Obamacare website, which, as you know, is officially implemented today. Unfortunately it hasn’t turned out to be the big bang we were hoping for:
“Not only has no one ever found a void this big, but we never even expected to find one this size,” - Lawrence Rudnick, University of Minnesota.
More of a big bust, to be perfectly honest. Here is the official tally so far:
- 4.7 million: the number of people who’ve lost the insurance that they liked butt couldn’t keep
- 2.0 million: signed up for Obamacare coverage (unclear how many of these are new Medicaid enrollees)
By most metrics that would reflect a negative “gain,” so why is Kitty so “thrilled” about these numbers? Because the normal rules of mathematics don’t apply in the vacuum of a dark energy field, which is where Obamacare-mathemagicals™* reside. Exactly how does that work, you ask?
“The answer may lie in dark energy, which became a dominant force in the Universe very recently, when the Universe was already three-quarters of the size it is today. Dark energy works opposite gravity and is speeding up the expansion of the Universe.”
Unless and until all of that “dark energy” - fed by copious amounts of “quantum easing” – causes an uncontrolled acceleration of inflation which subsequently results in a giant explosion. In that unlikely event, Obamacare would blow right out the rear end of this big black hole.
HAPPY NEW YEAR, ONE AND ALL!
* For further readings in Obamacare-mathemagicals™ I recommend the following posts:
- Math-O-matics: Tweedle-Dumb and Tweedle-Dumber
- Math is Hard: Remind Me Again, How Many Zeroes in a Trillion?
- There’s No Fuzzy Math in NASCAR
- There’s No There There. Really.
- Addition in the Age of Obama (subtraction, not so much)
- We Are Sooo Wearin’ O’ the Green
Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network