Thank goodness. We’re finally going to get to the bottom of this dumb birther controversy: our new Hawaiian Governor is calling for the release of Big Guy’s real birth certificate. As opposed to the fake birth certificate that was released previously, and has caused so much controversy regarding the veracity of BO’s existence.
As our own cub-reporter MaryOhSoContrary astutely reported yesterday:
So either the HI Department of Vital Stats (and Tattoo Parlor) found an old IBM Selectric to churn out the 'original' (wink, wink) form OR...some nefarious type (an Assange clone?) is ready to 'drop' the dirt (after three long years).
There’s really noting to worry about though. If we didn’t have this one nailed 10 ways to Tuesday, there would be no discussion about putting the controversy to rest. So rest easy, the spooks have been busy (and pleeze! that’s as in “Spies and Spooks,” you haters out there).
I know there’s been a pretty close lockdown on photos for this trip, butt I still have to be on guard at all times in case someone smuggles an iPhone into our cloister. So far we’ve done pretty well. Just the usual golf shots and shave ice shots that might as well have been from last year:
real men wear saddle shoes;
and eat rainbow colored shave ice
I will confess, I was sweating the snorkel outing, especially after the previous year’s disaster with the long lens - for which I’ll never be forgiven.
Lady M contemplating the nutritional value of a potato chip, and calculating the psi requirements for her new containment system
The official reason for the embargoing of photos from the snorkel trip was to prevent any more beefcake bare-chested pics of Big Guy. Rumors about BO wasting away and/or growing flabby are just silly (are you kidding? With all that b-ball?). The real reason is we don’t want to start up any new competition with our little Ruskie friend. Especially not after we just raised detente to a new level with the passage of the Disarm America First act.
Seriously, how do you compete with this anyway?
I do have one picture of Big Guy practicing his snorkeling back in Washington before we left for our alleged birth state. If ever there was a place where knowing how to breathe when you’re in over your head would be useful, D. C. would be that place.