Friday, September 9, 2011

Obama’s Jobs Plan: Shoes For Industry!…WTF?

So here it is: the Won we’ve been waiting for! And it’s all so obvious, now that the Won has revealed the truth.

That’s right boys and girls, Big Guy has finally got his mojo back!  He rocked the house (and Senate) last night! Any Firesign Theater devotee (and who isn’t?) will recognize the meme instantly. And the answer was so simple I’m surprised Big Guy and his crack economic team hadn’t thought of it sooner.

Here it is: what to we need in order to get this recalcitrant economy kick started? Why, MORE SUGAR! Of course.

If you watched the speech, you’ve already seen the long version, butt for those of you who were too busy to attend church services last night, here’s the short form:

We will be running this as a PSA 24/7 on all of our supportive media networks from now right on through the election. I think it will grow on you.

Oh, and if you’re not familiar with the Firesign Theatre from the 1970’s because you weren’t born yet, or you were too busy working two jobs in order to stay ahead of stagflation, perhaps I should explain the conceit of “Shoes for Industry” (SFI).  It’s a modern variation on the older parable of the broken window which we first discussed back during the Big Black Bus Tour. Except on first blush SFI makes no sense at all:

"Shoes for Industry! Shoes for the Dead! Shoes for Industry!

HI! I'm Joe Beats.

Say, what chance does a deceased returning war veteran have for that good payin' job, more sugar, and that free mule we've all been dreaming of?

Now take off your shoes.

Now you can see how increased spending opportunities, mean harder work for everyone, and more of it, too! So, do yourself a favor, Joe. Join with millions of your friends and neighbors, and, TAKE OFF YOUR SHOES!

Butt it’s actually a brilliant, progressive economic plan. The concept, from "Don't Crush that Dwarf, Hand me the Pliers"  is that the only way to improve the economy in the surreal post-war world inhabited by George Leroy Tirebiter is to remove your shoes and turn them in to the government: thereby creating jobs for people to make new shoes to replace the shoes you’ve patriotically turned in. It’s sort of like daylight savings time – also a government invention.

So watch the PSA again. It’s the least you can do. Until we ask you to turn in your shoes.

Odd though, that everyone around here is completely committed to the SFI plan when they all so firmly believe that every other form of economic activity is a zero sum game. Maybe they just don’t completely grasp the concept of “zero sum.”

But alas, I digress once again. I’ll be back in the morning, with a fashion report. It’s a doosey.

Linked By: Larwyn’s Linx on Doug Ross@Journal, and Chickaboomer, Thanks!