Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Here’s our New Deal, and Don’t Call our Bluff

We’ve been hearing it now ever since the Big Black Bus tour: “we need to put country ahead of politics.” That means it’s our newest focus group approved theme. And it’s brilliant, because we  can use it as our mantra for any partisan position we choose to take.

So in Detroit yesterday, Big Guy began to roll out exactly how he intends to have you put country ahead of Republican politics – butt I hope you’re sitting down. Because it’s going to cost you to be this selfless. Think in terms of FDR’s New Deal, only a much, much bigger deal. Almost another “big f***ing deal.”

the-new-deal-obama-timeTime’s prescient cover, November 2008

Butt let me cut through all the Labor Day rhetoric and get to the heart of Big Guy’s New Deal. To summarize: “We’re going to create the best economy with the best jobs taxpayer’s money can buy.” And if you oppose it, you are a partisan blood-sucking racist.

Plouffe-Daddy worked right through the holiday on this meme. In order to kick start our plan for improving the economy ahead of the big Thursday speech, he got the talking points into the hands of all the people who would be appearing on the pre-game shows over the weekend.

First up we have Maxine Waters on Meet the Press telling us that   putting country ahead of politics will cost at least a trillion dollars for a jobs program. Never mind that Maxi couldn’t get within 100 of the correct number of zeros in a trillion -that’s above her paygrade. She’s the House’s senior black female shill, which means she’s bullet proof.

Screenshot Studio capture #213Put your money where my mouth is.

Then we had Jimmy Hoffa’s. (Jr., not the one buried under the Giants astroturf) take on putting country ahead of politics at the warm up for Big Guy’s Labor Day act in Detroit:


“President Obama, this is your army. We are ready to march. Let’s keep our eye on the prize. Let's take these son of a bitches out and give America back to America where we belong.”

Disregard the fact that the phrase “give America back to America where we belong” is at best a non sequitur and at worst gibberish; we all catch his drift. “Smash the Tea Party because America belongs to the unions.” Because we’re putting country ahead of politics.

bo totus govt motorsBig Guy and TOTUS in Detroit under leaden skies: Government Motors headquarters in the background

Big Guy thanked Jimmy for his kind words and went on to explain exactly how he intends to smash the Tea Party and give America back to the unions - apparently just getting the yeoman’s share of GM and Chrysler wasn’t adequate to repay his debt from the last election. So BO’s going to propose we spend a lot of money (probably a trillion dollars) on shovel-ready crumbling infrastructure projects that can only be be built  by union workers. (You do recall, don’t you, that Stimulus I jobs could only be bid on by union contractors or non-union contractors who agreed to pay union wages, benefits and follow all union rules, don’t you? That adds a 30% premium to the cost of projects, butt hey! That’s just more stimulus poured into the economy!)

The pro-union crowd gathered to hear Big Guy and TOTUS went wild:

crowd goes wild boFour more years! Barack Delano Obama! Four more years!

Is that not a brilliant strategy? Putting country ahead of Republican politics while still pandering to our largest remaining group of political donors and campaign bundlers? Pats on the back are in order.

Next up, setting an example of how to put country ahead of politics is Joey B :

“Not a joke, Not an applause line. You are the only thing holding the barbarians from the gate.”

joe_bidenHold on, hold on! I’ve only got 9 more points to make!

So who, exactly, are the barbarians at the gate he’s talking about? Well there are the usual Tea Party suspects: Ryan, Cantor, Bachmann, Palin et.al. as well as the new media Right Wing extremists like Drudge, Breitbart, Beck and Malkin. And of course there’s still the old guard: George W. Bush, Cheney, Rove. Don’t worry - thanks to Raj’s robust firewall, they don’t know about me yet!

Of course some – mostly partisan R-words and Tea Partiers - don’t consider any of the above to be barbarians. They finger instead, groups whose rhetoric and actions more closely meet Webster’s definition of “barbarian.” To whit:

violent looters:



london vand



anarchists (organized by cellphone – there’s irony for you):


and state Capital trashers:



On the upcoming 10th anniversary of the 9/11massacre, I might think we have enough real barbarians at our gate without having to create new ones by demonizing the internal opposition. Maybe we should just put country ahead of politics and focus on dealing with our real enemies.

They’re still out there.

terr19/11 terrorists: they may be gone butt their number is legion.

People who put ideology ahead of country – and everything else – are our true enemies. And as Big Sis keeps telling us, they can be either foreign or domestic. So if you see something, say something! It’s our patriotic responsibility.