You’ll be glad to hear that Lady M will be back in circulation as of Sunday’s National Day of Service. I know you’ve all been talking and speculating about the “work” she’s had done over the summer: everything from liposuction to rhinoplasty to jaw reshaping. Let me just dispel those silly rumors once and for all.
First of all, she did not have her jaw reconstructed. Are you kidding me? That requires that you have your jaws wired shut for 3 months. No eating? No yelling? No way.
She may or may not have had her nose “freshened” up a bit - for medical reasons you understand. Nothing major, as you can clearly see for yourself:
Just a little subtle shaping. To help her breath easier.
Anyway, as of Sunday, Lady M will be ready to pay to play again. She will be following her own advice and performing community service all day long. First she and Big Guy will visit New York, Pennsylvania and the Pentagon: each of the three sites where 10 years ago to the day Muslim terrorists may or may not have piloted airplanes into a series of unscheduled hard landings.
Butt that’s not all: in the evening the Wons will attend an interfaith service and Concert for Hope at the National Cathedral where Big Guy will give an address. I’m not positive, butt I think the “interfaith service” might be a little strange since I’ve heard that no one is allowed to use the word “God” which pretty much rules out praying. Butt that’s ok, Big Guy will be delivering a speech, and that’s even better.
Butt that’s all next week. For now everyone around here is focused on the huge jobs, jobs jobs speech. The air is practically bristling with excitement. Everyone knows it’s got to be a barn burner in order to reverse these latest poll results, which seem to have lost their gyroscope:
As F. Chuck Todd explained, even Ms.NBC’s pollsters are concerned that the numbers indicate people are giving up on Big Guy. Maybe they better find some new pollsters; some who are not so biased.
I can’t of course divulge all of the finer details of Big Guy’s plan (they haven’t been written yet), butt I can tell you – per Fancy Nancy’s directive – that it will not include the word “stimulus.” Unclear why, something about negative connotations due to union payoffs or high-speed trains to nowhere, or something.
Anyway, it will include a lot of innovative ideas because that’s what people are looking for. So far there’s $300 billion for infrastructure (union) jobs and state aid to pay (union) teachers and (union) state workers (stimulus). That will all be paid for by increased involuntary contributions to the public coffers from the non-poor (tax the rich). So as you can see this is very innovative: instead of the usual tax and spend approach, we’re going to spend first and tax later. And HOPE for some positive CHANGE in the economy.
Oh, and did I mention the innovative Infrastructure Bank? It will be like Fannie and Freddie, except instead of providing resources for people who can’t really afford a mortgage, it will provide resources for construction projects that can’t make the cost/benefit cut. Like high-speed trains to nowhere. So that part’s pretty innovative. Plus, by creating yet another redundant agency in our Federal Family, Big Guy’s probably created or saved a good 250,000 jobs right there.
So it’s going to be an innovative jobs plan to put America back to work, one government job and subsidy at a time. Brilliant.
What less would you expect from the Lightbringer?
I’m not so sure now, maybe the electricity I’ve been feeling in the air around here is just static.