Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Finally: Back to Black

Well this is not good. Lady M was supposed to be under wraps (figure of speech) till this weekend. That’s one of the reasons they decided to send me to the Rocky Mountains for my super-secret training mission with the 10th Mountain Division. More on that later,

But then, poor old grandma Biden bit it (She was the only one who could get Joey to put a plug in it. We’re going to miss her around here, may she rest in peace.) and the O’s had to attend the funeral. Fortunately the hair grooming re-hab had already gotten underway. 

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But I felt bad about not being there to do something about those damn boots.

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Oh well, at least she got my tweets about wearing black, skipping the cheerful turquoise coat, and holding the waist noose. All in all, I’m pretty relieved. We don’t need any more big flaps around the Big White about the proper use of black.

Anyway, I’ve finally been cleared by security (my BW credentials didn’t prevent a pat down) and I’m flying back to the Big White now. Because once we’ve re-emerged in public we’re probably going to be all over the place again.

That’s fine with me, I’ve pretty much had it with this global warming deep freeze. I know it’s cold back in D.C. but here in my super-secret location in the Rocky Mountains, thermostats start at freezing and go down from there. I was originally dispatched to this frigid outpost to learn how to snowboard. After the Secret Service saw how easily I picked up surfing in Hawaii, they decided I would be a natural on a snowboard too. It was simply precautionary training. There is a rumor that Lady M and the girls might consider a ski vacation over Spring break, and they wanted as many trained agents along side them on the slope as possible.

I was certainly game, but I had no idea how cold it can get when you actually emerge from the Beltway bubble. I think I did pretty well – heck, it is just like surfing only instead of Mai Tai’s you get shots of Jaegermeister when you’re done. (For the record, I prefer Mai Tai’s).

So I don’t really know if there’s a ski trip in the O’s future, but in case there is I’m prepared. And a good thing because this year’s fashion forward ski gear apparently includes tightly waisted down jackets and (horrors!) stretch pants. Lady M will  need me by her side constantly. I’m sure you can see how this look could go nuclear in no time:

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And that’s not even the worst of it. You should see the après ski fashions. I’m going to tell Lady M how cold and miserable skiing is, and hope she opts for another tropical island for Spring break. Bare arms and sandals I’m familiar with.