Thursday, January 14, 2010

Steamed Vegetables

You’ve probably heard by now about our non-disclosure agreement being breeched. Apparently someone from our Hollywood crew of body-double vegetables used on the “Iron Chef White House” show leaked the story. We should have known that would happen, they’re really just a bunch of fruits.

Fruit Of The Loom

It’s not as if we were trying to hide anything about our toxic vegetables (look great on the outside, but toxic to the core). I believe I provided a full disclosure way last July when I explained that we inherited this mess from a previous administration – just like the rest of the problems around here. It wasn’t our fault that we couldn’t deliver on the organic veggies that we promised to produce. It’s really no different than Social Security, Medicare, or (coming soon) universal health care. So I don’t really see why this is such a big deal; it’s not as if there’s a law against lying in government programs.

But things are getting a little ugly. Apparently that holier-than-thou organic crowd is suing us for breech of contract! What a bunch of sour grapes.

Big Guy turned the whole matter over to Eric Holder, so I can’t say much more since he slapped us with a gag order.

I don’t know who’s representing this batch of rotten tomatoes, but I’d suggest they withdraw the suit, like pronto. Have they been under a cabbage leaf for the past year and a half? Just for the record, losers, we’ve already won Battle White House: twice.

And so what if the second big win required us – just like in Iowa - to bus in our own squash, eggplants and sweet potatoes from out of town?

Honestly, what part of “Chicago Rules” don’t they get?


h/t American Digest