Ok, listen up. We’ve got a lot of critical stories to cover today: 1) Big Guy’s newest Blueprint for Fundamentally Transforming America, 2) the “October Surprise” compliments of Gloria Allred and 3) why it’s been so quiet around here with respect to Benghazi-gate.
Starting from the top: “BO’s Little Book of Revelation” aka the “The Second, Second Coming of the Messiah.”
August, from “Keep the Dream” calendar (H/T Brietbart, birth certificate compliments Donald Trump)
Unfortunately it’s not going to take the Right Wing Truthy-Team long to comb through the details and announce that it’s a mixture of old news, half-truths and lies.
For example, they’ll probably start with page 4:
“We refused to let Detroit go bankrupt.”
First: if Big Guy was talking about GM and Chrysler, they, uh, DID go bankrupt. Only instead of going through a Chapter 11 bankruptcy under the terms of the bankruptcy laws (written by Congress, designed to provide assistance to the distressed company in reorganization while still protecting their creditors) the Autos got to follow “BO’s Chicago Rules of Bankruptcy.” This shortcut allowed GM and Chrysler to stay afloat with taxpayer loans while screwing the “preferred” bond holders (aka “widows and orphans” normally first in line for repayment in a bankruptcy, by contract and law) in order to give preferential treatment to the Big Union (UAW) for consistently supporting Big Guy in his efforts to fundamentally transform America.
Now, it’s possible that Big Guy wasn’t talking about the Auto bailout. Maybe he was talking about Detroit itself (there are a lot of voters there who benefited from “Obama’s stash.”). Unfortunately, that claim is a little tougher to support. While not “technically” in receivership, Detroit is de facto bankrupt and operating under a consent agreement with the State of Michigan to avoid Governor Snyder appointing an Emergency Financial Manager (which would allow him to bypass the good counsel and judgment of the sitting City Council).
Oh and by the way; the city unions don’t like the state’s Emergency Manager Law because it empowers the manager to nullify their contracts (just like in bankruptcy court!) and force them to renegotiate the terms whether they want to or not.
Hello goose. Meet gander.
Either way, I’m not sure page 4 is going to pass the truthiness test. And don’t even get me started on the “tax deductions for shipping jobs overseas” canard! I’ve been trying to tell Big Guy for weeks there aren’t any specific deductions for “shipping jobs overseas” butt he’s been too distracted to pay attention. Plus, he thinks “it works” with his base.
I haven’t time to go through all the other pages, butt I think you get the idea.
So let’s get on with Gloria’s October surprise. That’s it? That’s the October surprise? “Spurned wife spends 25 years focused on getting even with her ex-husband. And anyone else she can blame in the process?” Yes, I do believe that’s about it.
Maureen Stemberg, acrimoniously divorced from ex-Staples CEO Mark Stemberg in 1987, claims that Mitt Romney isn’t a nice guy, and somehow caused her to sell off half of her 500,000 shares of Staples stock before it went public and was worth a lot more money. That’s really weak cheese. (h/t: Dennis Miller)
If we’re going to WTF we’re going to need an October surprise a little more surprising than finding a plastic ring in a box of Crackerjack at the World Series, which, by the by, is now underway. Sorry about last night Dewey.
Never-the-less, this is a tragedy of untold proportions: just ask Gloria-patron-saint-of-spurned-women-Allred. Now, I’m not saying that the ex-Mrs. Stemberg is a whack job, you can reach that conclusion on your own, I’m just saying she doesn’t seem to be the most, uh, stable of Staples’ stockholders.
Butt she does look good for a made over 61 year old Real Housewife of Boston. And for the record: this revelation has nothing to do with Gloria being an Obama delegate and groupie. Sheeze! “You people” are just so darn cynical.
Meanwhile, Donald Trump is offering to buy the truth about Barry for a measly $5 million. Apparently he thinks BO’s a cheap date.
Now, regarding Benghazi-gate: you do realize that we have a presidential campaign going on don’t you? So you understand that we can’t fit a full debriefing in until after November 6th, right? Okay, ‘nuf said. Everyone move along now. Nothing to see here. If that’s not enough for you there’s a recap on BlackFive which I highly recommend you not read until after the re-election.
The President made the decision to not use F18s (even in a flyover to shake the resolve of the terrorists). The President made the decision to go to Vegas to a campaign dinner.
So what is worse than our State people now knowing that the President will do nothing if they are attacked?
Al Qaeda knows that now, too.
So here’s our summary of today’s news:
On the Notebook of Revelation, Erin Burnett recaps ( looking like she’s trying out for a gig on Newsbusters Newsbusted segment). Boy, if you’ve lost the Street Sweetie…
Regarding the Battle of the Big Brands:
Gloria has better hair, butt those eyes are just spooky. I’m giving it to Trump, by a neck.
And finally, with respect to Benghazi-gate, hmmm. Apparently we’ve already launched into revisionist history-ville. “Carney: Everyone knew about terrorist claims ‘instantaneously.’”
Well, shoot, man, why didn’t you just say so and call it a day then?
Note: sorry, unedited draft inadvertently posted earlier.