Well how on earth did I miss this story? Oh wait, I know: I quit watching anything that even vaguely portended to be news programming. I’ll bet that Fox and Friends covered this little gem ad nauseum all Christmas week.
It all started December 21 with a now infamous tweet from somebody using the handle @lenibriscoe:
Who the heck is Hilaria you ask, and why should I care? Turns out the ex-dancer, yoga instructor, lifestyle influencer (yeah, that’s a real thing) is the wife of pugnacious actor Alec Baldwin – one of our distinctly superior fellow citizens. Could he possibly have been duped? Isn’t he too smart for that? Or was he in on the scam? How embarrassing either way.
Hilaria, who has no Spanish ancestry, has been under fire for allegedly misrepresenting herself as Spanish — repeatedly publicly referring to Spain as her “home,” adopting a bad thick Spanish accent at times and failing to correct numerous publications and even one of her official web bios that falsely said she was born on Mallorca.
For her wedding to Alec in 2012, she wore a traditional white Spanish mantilla veil and waved a flamenco fan at her groom at an altar in St. Patrick’s Cathedral in Manhattan, while the pair traded rings inscribed in Spanish and danced to Puerto Rican crooner Luis Miguel.
“Hilaria” it turns out is not just not Spanish but she’s actually a Boston Brahmin – a WASP from New England who went to a $60,000 a year private school and was raised Hillary Hayward-Thomas in this 100 year old $4 million house in elite Beacon Hill.
Does everybody named “Hillary” just naturally lie through their teeth?
Alec and “Hilaria” have five blonde haired blue eyed kids all with Spanish names - Romeo Alejandro David, Leonardo Ángel Charles, Rafael Thomas, Carmen Gabriela and new baby Eduardo Pao Lucas. Because if you’re going to scam the public it’s best to have the entire family in on it.
“Our children, especially the older ones, are fully bilingual”
I bet that’s how Elizabeth Warren’s Native American heritage grift got started too. Sometimes this things just take on a life of their own and before you know it they spin out of control – next thing you know you forget the English word for “cucumber” and find yourself publishing heritage Native American crab cake recipes.
Ah well, anything embarrassing for a pompous ass like Baldwin is just alright with me. Especially since I know that he had to know, if not before the wedding certainly since then. I suspect he’s met the in-laws who despite having retired to Mallorca are decidedly not Spanish. And seriously, any woman with 5 kids isn’t going to go into full-Mom tilt-mode in a fake accent. Nope, all those cuss words directed at kids and husband are going to spill out in their natural born dialect. So the whole plausible deniability argument stops right there. He was a willing accomplice in this silliness and deserves as much ridicule as we can manage to heap on His Pompousness.
So how’s that anger management class working out for you Alec? You’re going to need to reload it.
Alec yelling at his pregnant wife.
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