Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Harsh Stares All Around: Take That, Jihadists

Bummer, now we have two non-jihadi terror attacks on our watch that we have to blame on the previous administration. Axeman says this excuse will work –max - a half dozen times. At the rate we’re going, that doesn’t even get us through our first term. Therefore we have to spring into action. Around here that means a summit, followed by a presser.

So that’s exactly what he did yesterday: 10 days after the undie bomber was hosed by a Dutch tourist we sprung into action. Big Guy held a big meeting with all of our important security and intelligence people: because we already acknowledged there was enough blame to go around. And just to make sure we had enough around to blame, we included Desiree, our resident security screening expert:


Big Guy got really mad. He said there was a big “screw up”, and that was for the record.These chumps made him look really bad while he was playing golf.  And now we have to walk back just about all of our official positions from our vacation. That always makes you look like you might not have been in complete control. There were hard stares all around. We’ve seen movies - we know how to make these twits feel like they’re getting a verbal thrashing.

So here it is: apparently the system didn’t work, apparently the knickerbomber is a jihadi terrorist trained in Yemen, and apparently we will not be releasing Gitmo detainees (don’t you love that term?) back to Yemen. Did I cover everything?

Oh yeah, one more thing: there will be no finger pointing.Big Guy won't tolerate it.

 obama finger images

Obamapoint images4

Oh, and he assured everyone that he’s holding everyone else accountable for doing their jobs. Because that’s his job.

So when he says he won’t tolerate finger pointing, I think we know what he means:

Obama_finger_in_mouth_smallNone of this

Big Guy’s job is to tell you when you’re acting stupidly.