NoMo Motown: a Po-Mo Review

Well, it was every bit as bad as I expected.

Ok - Seal at least brought some soul to the East Room (who knew? I mean, he is British and all) but Nick Jonas, John Legend and Jamie Foxx? Please. No pipes, no chops, no fly zone. And look at that sloppy “choreography.” You could practically hear Berry Gordy’s teeth grinding above the din.

if “The Motown story is really a metaphor for life," it doesn’t look as though it ends well.

And can you envision Smokey Robinson with Sheryl Crow? If your answer is no, consider yourself lucky.

As you can see, the audience was having none of it, despite what you might read in USA Today. Or the WaPo. (h/t Chick) 

I sense that this might spell trouble for Big Guy: nobody seems to mind very much that the Won and his Chicago posse have screwed up the economy, the budget, the world’s greatest healthcare system, the war on terror, the Middle East, (he’s working on topping Jimmy Carter in this contest, as Jimmy only enabled the toppling of one ally, while Big Guy still has several left on the table – not even counting Israel – plus we’ve now got enemy ships patrolling around the Suez Canal) and foreign relations in general – butt messin’ with Motown? I don’t know, - that might raise a few eyebrows.

Lady M raises an eyebrow: I don’t know if this is true, but the street ministrels are saying that the Black-eyed Peas turned down the invitation to the Big White Motown Review. Bad call – if it’s true.

There will be consequences.

 

 

The big surprise was a performance by Stevie Wonder – and it was a surprise to him too. Although he is a real Motown recording artist, he wasn’t actually scheduled to perform. NPR didn’t think they had room for him on the lineup. (Plus he hasn’t had a new album out in years, so nothing to promote.) Butt apparently Big Guy didn’t have time to review the program ahead of time, what with that kerfuffle in the Middle East. When he saw Stevie in the audience, he just assumed he was there to perform (what else?) and since he was winging it last night sans TOTUS, he announced it to the crowd. Stevie, being a gentleman, didn’t want to make Big Guy sound like he didn’t know “what’s going on” so he threw in a little “sunshine” up his butt to wrap up the night. Unrehearsed, he was better than 95% of the rest of the “artists” performing a “tribute” to Motown. Well, see here for yourself:

Be sure to watch for Lady M at the end: we’re dressed head to toe in Motown inspired black taffeta: blouse, slacks, shoes, hair. A tad tight, butt that’s how they wore them back in the day – no obvious cleavage, sleeves, delicate jewelry.  Not a bad job Koopie. Let’s give her a shout-out!

 

Big guy made a few opening remarks, explaining that with Black History Month coming to a close nothing could be more appropriate than a party honoring this "music that's at the heart of the American story."

 "Motown is different. No one knows exactly when jazz began. Nobody knows who the first person was to sing a freedom song," said Obama. "But we know where Motown came from. We know it was born in the basement of a house on West Grand Boulevard in the Motor City -- Detroit.”

Of course, in order to appreciate it, it helps if you know a little something about the American story - and you don’t have to hesitate to figure out where the Motor City is.  Butt never mind: at least BO got his soul shoes on and cut up the rug:

Finally, as you know, Lady M is a huge fan of the Queen of Soul, who couldn’t make it to the Big White Review as she’s still home recuperating from something. Butt she did make a Grammy cameo appearance from home, to ward off rumors of her death, and to show off her newly svelte bod:

Aretha’s Grammy 2011 appearance, left and pre-surgery, right

So Lady M and Koopie have been efforting some looks for Big Guy’s next historic inauguration, looking to use Aretha as an inspiration:

And if you don’t like the Aretha frock so much, at least let me know how you feel about the authentic ‘fro look for MO.

I’m not sure: I think it makes her look a little top heavy. Butt I like the pearls.