Saturday, February 26, 2011

If You Can’t Stand The Heat…

In case you haven’t noticed yet, our 2012 reelection campaign, Win The Future (WTF) is in high gear and humming along.



The propaganda Organizing For America arm is now fully staffed and running commentary, ads and buses 24/7. And our Big Union benefactors are in character, pretending to be dismayed by our lukewarm public support of the Wisconsin teacher’s union (who are all out sick), while secretly yucking it up over here at the Big White over rump roasts, tater tots, imported beer and Cohibas.

Our cute little lapdogs in the O-media are sitting back on their haunches with tongues hanging out begging for us to give them a scrub behind their ears. Even Rupert “the Rude’s” newest family member picked up on one of our “nothing up my sleeve” redirections and ran a puff piece on Chef Comfy ( that’s Big White head Chef Cristeta Comerford for anybody reading this blog just for the fashion forward news).

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve got nothing against Comfy. In dealing with the Wons, she has to put up with almost as much as TOTUS and me. Although her crazy mad knife skills do give her an advantage that T and I don’t have.


Chef Comfy with her very sharp “flexible boner”

She’s one of my pals around here and she certainly deserves her props. She keeps my little hotel refrigerator well stocked with curry for Raj, Vernors, root beer and ice cream for me and the Wee Wons and tons of vegetative scraps for Little Mo, all at Big White cost, which is much lower than retail. (I have to buy Little Mo’s special ‘grubs’ at retail since the bait shop doesn’t give any discounts and Comfy won’t order them in bulk. I don’t blame her, she doesn’t want to get blamed if one of them gets loose in the organic garden.)

But she did surprise all of us last month with this really weird, and I must say, tasty dish for Little Mo’s birthday.

pastitsio “Mole Hole” House Special

Comfy really showed us her “Wise Philappina” empathy by making Little Mo a special dish that traced back to his authentic garden roots. He had the time of his life racing through the tunnels, butt he confided in me later that he really prefers his new Big White diet. I had to ask Chef what it was because I couldn’t find it on my hard drive (Raj has since installed a “World Recipe” pack). Maybe some of you will recognize it, I’ll give you a hint: it’s not Italian.

Anyhoo, the WSJ took the bait our team tossed in the water and we just reeled them in. Here’s my summary of the rather long article so you won’t have to read it unless you don’t want to:

Big Guy brings an extraordinarily talented minority chef from Chicago to his historic administration to create healthy organic meals of unprecedented quality, style and creativity that are served to world leaders as well as Big Union leaders with a robust flair that is always unexpected. **

There was only one thing Comfy said in the article that I would disagree with. She said great cooking comes from “people who have an innate capacity to taste and see and smell.” I can go with the taste and see, but for the amount of time she spends around Lady M without even so much as a wrinkle of her nose, I’d have to question her “innate” sense of smell.

Butt there’s no questioning her cooking skills, she did after all, win the Iron Chef Battle Crock Pot competition, Chicago style!



** If you want to write articles for one of our Big White “news” outlets, you have my permission to use this as a template. Just take out everything that isn’t italicized, and insert whatever topic you’re covering. You’re welcome.