I have big, big news! And I’m so excited that if I wore pants, They’d probably be all wee-weed up.
First: Big Guy and Toes just awarded me my very own official seal! And I’m authorized to use it for commercial purposes!!!!! I can hardly believe it either, because I didn’t really think Big Guy was all that keen on private enterprise.
But I think I’m finally beginning to figure out how this whole political power, crony capitalism thingy works. Don’t worry though, I won’t be sucked into the vortex. My NASA designed systems are equipped with an ethics package designed to prevent that, although, as I’ve mentioned before, it hasn’t been updated for a while now. I think I’ll mention how this ethics software works to Big Guy because he might want to get a program for his SEIU buddies. I’m not saying they’re compromised or anything, but I’ve been around awhile, and I can tell you that their boundaries are way, wayyy out there on the range. And even then, they’re enforced about as well as our southern border. I don’t want Big Guy to get into any trouble, and he’s really too busy to keep an eye on what everyone around here is doing.
But I digress. So, I didn’t get that raise I asked for. But I did get my own seal and authorization to open my own store, as long as I only operate it when I’m off the clock. So that gives me about 55 minutes a day. But don’t worry, Raj has set it up to be open in cyber space 24/7 with a permanent link right over there in my sidebar.
I really expected to have it opened before now, but whew! Starting your own business, even a teeny-tiny one is a lot of work. First you’ve got to design your product, arrange for the manufacturing and check out the quality control.Then you have to make sure you have a solid business plan, get your marketing plan in place, learn how to use PowerPoint, Excel and Quicken, find an accountant you can trust, (not as easy as you might think) then go to the bank and beg for adequate financing including an operating line of credit (assuming you don’t have access to the Bank of Mom and Dad). And of course you have to line up a storefront and figure out what leasehold improvements you can afford. Then of course there are a few other details you have to take care of: insurance, licensing fees, legal fees and…last but certainly not lease taxes: state, local, federal, excise and “just because” taxes.
I’m Green Too
I’m going to have to talk to Big Guy, because I really don’t think he has any idea how hard it is for the little guys - that he cares so much about - to actually do something for a living. Or how little is left for them to keep after they’ve worked their butt off to get their business up and running. So I’m hoping maybe he’ll reconsider his attitude towards this whole tax and spend platform after I explain it all to him. But so far he doesn’t have any openings on his “meet with lobbyists” calendar until next year. I’ll let you know how it goes.
But back to my big announcement! I received the first shipment of merchandise yesterday, and after spending all afternoon stocking the shelves, with Raj’s help, I’m ready to raise the shutters and throw open the doors. I hope you like it. I plan to add new items from time to time - to keep things fresh and fashion forward. I’ll also consider doing special orders, if I can squeeze it into my 55 minutes.
Speaking of fashion forward though, just one word of caution: be sure to check the sizing charts and information when ordering women’s sizes. They seem to be making clothes for munchkins these days, which is to say, two sizes too small. Maybe that’s why Lady M’s clothes never seem to fit right.
Other than that though, I think the quality control department did a fine job.
Please come visit and browse around. After all, what’s more American than shopping? Oh yeah: taxes.
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