Did you watch the R-word debate on CNBC? Seriously? Meet some of the moderators:
Maria “Money-Honey” Bartiromo:
Mario to Newt Gingrich: “What is the media reporting inaccurately about the economy?” Newt: “What!!?”
John Harwood-political writer for the NYT (and CNBC Chief Political Correspondent).
John to Mitt Romney(paraphrased): Mr. Romney, would you hire Mr. Cain? Mitt: Stuff a sock in it, Mr. Harwood.
James “They know nothing! Nothing!” Kramer?
James to Ron Paul: “We’re not going to be done going down if this keeps going on, if Italy keeps — the rates keep going up. Surely you must recognize that this is a moment-to-moment situation for people who have 401(k)s and IRAs on the line and you wouldn’t just let it fail, just go away and take our banking system with it?” – Paul (paraphrased): Is there a question in there somewhere, Jim?
Seriously: when will they stop feeding the pet seals and schedule a real debate? We can’t wait!
Butt the debate was a lot of fun. Although it didn’t really settle anything except “which Republican candidate is most likely to lose a debate with Big Guy?” Rick Perry won that round, hands down. No clear winners, so lets just review the biggest losers of the night – in no particular order: the Federal Reserve, Fannie and Freddie, Dodd AND Frank, Rick Perry and Maria Bartioromo.
Here’s Maria last night: neither on-the-money nor looking much the Honey:
And speaking of winners and losers: put one in the W column for Lady M. This just in: Reggie’s leaving!
Don’t worry. It’s not what you think!!!!
Check back around noon for an exclusive, inside the Big White scoop on what’s really going down.
Now on to other pressing issues: Lady M has managed to squeeze in a little more sacrificin’ before she has to pack for our trip to Hawaii and Bali. She made an appearance with Disney “stars” in order to produce a just-in-time-Veterans Day promotional for our on-going Support For Military Families program.
II have no idea who any of these “Disney stars” are or why they might be pertinent to Lady M’s “support our military” campaign platform - other than two of them have uncles who have served in the military. If you’re really curious, I guess you could Google it. Butt what I gathered from watching the public service announcement, she’s just encouraging kids to get to know kids from military families. She told them, “You might just make a new friend.” Because I guess otherwise kids would shun and discriminate against kids from military families. Maybe even pick on them. You know how kids are!
Say – this can serve as a twofer: Support our Military Families and our Anti-Bullying program! See what I mean about Lady M and the sacrificin’?
Don’t forget: Reggie Love departing the Big White. News at 11:00-ish.
UPDATE: WHITEHOUSE REPORTS BIG GUY’S “BODYMAN” DEPARTing BY YEAR END. GET THE FACTS.
OK here’s the MOTUS exclusive:
You may think it suspicious that both Chief of Staff Bill Daley and “Bodyman” Reggie Love announced they would be leaving the Big White by year end. Don’t go there. That’s what they WANT you to think! There will be rumors up the wazoo, butt here are the facts.
Reggie is leaving under good terms. In fact he’s being reassigned to a super-secret position vital to the interests of the WTF Obama 2012 campaign. So what I’m about to divulge is privileged information and should not be spread around the innertubz!
Remember when I told you yesterday that both Raj and I were busy working on another project? Well, Reggie’s been reassigned to work as chief mole for the WTF campaign at ground zero. That’s right: Chicago. So Raj has to get him up to speed like pronto, on how to hack into computers, install GPS tracking devices, and conduct iPhone and Android wiretaps.
For my part, I need to equip him with some of the basics involved in image distortion, deflection and refractions. Because sometimes when you can’t just collect the evidence you need through nefarious means, it must be fabricated from either partial truths or whole cloth.
Surprisingly, Reggie’s been a pretty quick study, considering he’s had no formal training and doesn’t even have a Masters degree in Political Campaigning like Debbie Wasserman-Schultz –who was the other leading candidate for the position. (And I don’t want to hear anything about Reggie being just an Affirmative Action selection. Reggie has Big Guy’s complete trust and confidence, and isn’t anywhere near as annoying to have around as DWS. Besides, she’s been a little negative lately.)
Nevertheless, we need to work with Reggie through the end of the year to ensure that he’s fully equipped with every tool known to modern campaign counter espionage once he’s officially launched as an Obama Operative.
Please keep all of this to yourself though, as the truth – as always - is likely to hamper the desired outcome. As far as the rest of the world has to know, Reggie’s departure is just the bittersweet end to a long and loving relationship. He just decided it was “time to move on.”
Here’s our little official retrospective, assembled from Big White footage. It’s being dedicated to “happier times.”