Saturday, September 27, 2014

Molsterman Report #7: Inside Baseball - GOP 2016

the molsterman report-no press copy

NOTE: This is part of a continuing series of exclusive, clandestine, interviews with my mole known only as “Deep Quote” or “Molsterman,”  (who may or may not also be known as “Little Mo” to the MOTUS community) Molsterman is currently serving under deep cover at NSA. (Presented, as always, with apologies to the Ulsterman Report)

Little Mo recently sat down with Molsterman (because MOTUS is away on a girlie weekend) to get his take on potential GOP candidates for President in 2016.

Molsterman: Where’s your girlfriend?

Little Mo: She’s not here.

Molsterman: I asked you where she is.

Little Mo: If you were supposed to know where she is, you’d know.

Molsterman: Look, I need to talk to your girlfriend and get her to run some polls on her blog.

Little Mo: She’s not here.

Molsterman: Maybe we should start over. Can you help me get in touch with MOTUS?

Little Mo: No.

Molsterman: #*&@%#&! Look, I need to get some polling up on MOTUS’ damn blog and I need to do it now!

Little Mo: Yeah.

Molsterman: Look, the Beltway is lousy with Jeb and Mitt 2016 chatter. Nothing granular, just loud and I need to get inside that.

Little Mo: Yeah.

Molsterman: MOTUS and her FOMs are the heart of the “Take Back America” movement and I need to take their pulse.

Little Mo: Yeah.

Molsterman: Not much of a conversationalist are you?

Little Mo: ...

Molsterman: So, I need to take a poll to find out who can generate enthusiasm and support among MOTUS’ FOMs. Koffler’s poll over at White House Dossier on the 18th had Cruz walking away with the nomination. That’s not bad news, butt I need to toss in a few more horses into the race.

Little Mo: Yeah.

Molsterman: I know MOTUS polls are always conducted under Chicago Rules, butt I need to restrict this poll to one vote per person.

Little Mo: MOTUS uses Chicago Rules.

Molsterman: Am I talking to myself here?

Little Mo: ...

Molsterman: Ok, can we just this once take a poll the way we are supposed to conduct elections in America?

Little Mo: You didn’t say the magic word.

Molsterman: What the f%$*? The magic word?

Little Mo: ...

Molsterman: Please?

Little Mo: Yeah.

Molsterman: I hope your girl friend gets back soon. You’re really a pain in the a$$.

Little Mo: Yeah.



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Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network