Sunday, September 28, 2014

The “Weak” In Review: All The News That Was or Might Have Been

In National News: The future 2nd historic female President gave birth Friday to the future 3rd historic female President, Charlotte Clinton Mezvinsky. Seen here celebrating the event, the former future, 1st historic female President and the 1st historic black President.

Screenshot Studio capture #1756

International News: Saturday, eco-hypocrite progressive libtard movie hunk George Clooney 53, married British human rights lawyer Amal Alamuddin, 36, in a twilight ceremony in Venice.


The post-ceremony boat parade was marred by rare canal odors and turbulence caused by anthropogenic global warming.

clooney“People die from smells every day.” Adrian Monk

Amal nearly cancelled at the last minute when paparazzi released this photo and TMZ headlined an article “The Final HOORAH Before Tying The Knot.”

1411828357000-AP-APTOPIX-Italy-Clooney-WeddingGeorge Clooney & Cindy Crawford caught in “Final Hoorah”

1411842724000-funnyface2“Don” Alamuddin does not appear amused

In other international news, American celebrity breast and caboose artist, Kim Kardashian was accosted

article-2769763-21A7537B00000578-316_634x620KK’s bodyguard guards her…

by celebrity prankster Vitalii Sediuk

article-2769830-21A8D04200000578-834_634x627Waiting to pounce

as she arrived at the Balmain show at Paris Fashion Week. Vitalii said he HOPEs that the Kimster “won’t be mad” at him, butt I don’t think that she’s the one he should be worried about.


In tech news, Apple CEO Tim Cook, unveiled Apple’s 1st, historic failure: the new iPhone 6, proving that he is sans more than Steve Jobs’ turtleneck.



In sports, reliable sources have advised this reporter that unrelenting pressure from President Obama, NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell and CBS football analyst Phil Simms, has forced the Washington Redskins R-words to prepare for changing the team’s nickname.  Several alternative nicknames are under consideration and sources say trademark applications will be filed for all of them because each of them will likely offend someone. The nick name list reportedly includes:

  • Washington RougeSkins
  • Washington Peaux Rouges (French)
  • Washington Pieles rojas (Spanish)
  • Washington Hargahood oo la Caseeyeys (Somali)
  • Washington Ruĝa Felos (Esperanto) and
  • Washington الجلود الحمراء (Arabic)

Finally, in Media news, MOTUS will return to the anchor desk tomorrow.

Filling in as guest host on Michelle Obama’s Mirror, this is Cub Reporter Little Mo.


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Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network