Wednesday, September 29, 2010

We Need You, You Ungrateful, Lazy, Stupid, Whiny Son of a B****h!

We have apparently regrouped and developed a new strategy for holding on to Congress after the mid terms.

Big Guy kicked it off with his interview in Rolling Stone which will hit the newsstands Friday. He told the troops that they need to get off their dead butts and get to the polls in November to vote for more change. "It is inexcusable for any Democrat or progressive right now to stand on the sidelines in this midterm election, Buck up.” Just because they haven’t gotten everything they wanted, like free tuition and legal dope, is no reason not to rock the vote.


And last weekend John Kerry tried to help out too, by telling democrats that they just don’t get it. “We have an electorate that doesn’t always pay that much attention to what’s going on so people are influenced by a simple slogan rather than the facts or truth or what’s happening.”

Hey John...bubbie...that was the horse we rode in on, remember?


john%20kerry-spermJohn Kerry doing one of the world’s dirtiest jobs

This all comes on the heels of Joey B’s appearance on the Rachael Madow show where he told our constituents that they’ve got to stop whining. Our lefty blogosphere went nuts, so Joey had to go back on Ms.NBC the next night to correct the “stop whining” comment to “buck up,” which is now our official ass-kicking anthem.

It’s probably because I’m still not firing on all of my re-capacitator-trons, but the exact strategy of this campaign is not perfectly clear to me – which is something that Big Guy always likes to be. All I’ve got so far is we’re switching our aim-blame away from GWB and the Republicans to our own base. Which seems a bit risky, based on the blogosphere’s initial reaction to Joey’s remark.

Here’s how I think it’s supposed to play out: we call our loyal base Lazy, Stupid and Whiny to guilt them into voting for our guys. Next we find 4 more motivators to get the vote out, for the full complement of 7 dwarfs. Then Prince Charming wakens our Sleeping Beauty from a deep, drug induced sleep, and we all live happily ever after.

I believe Oliver Stone had a hand in writing the script. He’s got Big Guy cast as Sleeping Beauty, unclear on who he has in mind for Prince Charming yet. Butt I sure hope he doesn’t expect Lady M to play the evil stepmother, because she’ll never go along with that. And I sure as hell don’t intend to do the “mirror, mirror” bit.

It used to be that when the Dems went into a “message-fail” mode our fallback position used to be hit all the MSM talking head shows and tell everyone that “we’re just not getting our message out.” It basically means the same as “our base is lazy, stupid and whiny,” but it never seemed to get everyone’s panties in a bundle.