Thursday, April 19, 2012

That Dawg Won’t Hunt

Well, the wag-the-dog “War on Canine-ivores” has had its day.

Enough with the pug grub, Shih Tzu-ey and Shar Pei sushi jokes.

bo sushi pillow copy

We just have to move on, and that means both Big Guy and Lady M are going to have to perform more of their trained dog tricks of diversionary tactics: throwing you off the scent.

Accordingly, Lady M hit the trail yesterday to check in with her favorite military families on her way to two fundraisers in Pittsburgh.

Screenshot Studio capture #500Here Lady M performs one of her most popular tricks on the campaign trail: levitation. She learned it from Big Guy.

Screenshot Studio capture #498With all the litter around here, is it any wonder we have to close your base?

Butt we really need a much bigger diversion. So - does anyone want to talk about Colombian prostitutes!?!

clinton-colombian-prostitutesh/t Full Metal Spanx

That dog probably won’t hunt. Butt the Big Dawg still does. Maybe we can figure out how to use that to our advantage somehow.

        clinton saxbig dawg 3 piece clinton110826-miss-me-yet-clinton-t-shirt 

Strike up the band…do a little dance! Get down tonight!

Butt we do seem to have some problems lurking on the horizon. Lady M has already signaled that she’s not going to keep turning her tricks for the WTF for free.

oh sweet mother


h/t Full-Metal Spanx

Reverend Manning accuses Lady M of being a “jacked up harlot”(40 second mark) wearing the “uniform of a street harlot” (2:20).

It’s just part of the job; we all have to put on our uniforms to go to work.

Anyway, here’s the deal, no more tricks unless she continues to get her “treats.”

     moand SS guysafari2

Lady M, shopping in Marbella; on safari in Botswana

So I would suggest to the handlers that they not even think about nixing Lady M’s little get aways. Unless they want to get their hand bitten off.

And as far as Big Guy goes – well – the handlers have an even tougher job with him. Unfortunately he wasn’t trained properly as a young pup and as a result has became accustomed to getting treats without having to perform any tricks at all.

nobel-world readership-watermark copy

Which is to say, we may have to figure out how to WTF without actually doing anything to improve the economy, control the deficit or secure the borders. Ironically  Big Guy himself seemed to have predicted this very situation, back in 2008: (h/t Weasel Zippers)

Muhammad the prophet speaks; will the world listen?

“If you don’t have any fresh ideas, then you use stale tactics to scare the voters. If you don’t have a record to run on, then you paint your opponent as someone people should run from. You make a big election about small things.”

You know what they say about not being able to teach an old dog new tricks, butt fortunately our handlers don’t think we’ll need any, as long as we can trick all of the old dogs into being “in” again.


So now, if I can get back to my assignment: diversionary tactic 4.0: “Look! Prostitutes in South America!!” 

sharpiealertSee! It works every time!

This could be interesting since the Colombian prostitute in the SS scandal not only has a heartfelt story, butt it’s actually a fairly telling tale. Well here - I’ll let the NYT tell you:

There was a language gap between the woman, 24, who declined to give her full name, and the American man who sat beside her at the bar and eventually invited her to his room. She agreed, stopped on the way to buy condoms but told him he would have to give her a gift. He asked how much. Not knowing he worked for Mr. Obama but figuring he was a well-heeled foreigner, she said, she told him $800.

The price alone, she said, indicates she is an escort, not a prostitute. “You have higher rank,” she said. “An escort is someone who a man can take out to dinner. She can dress nicely, wear nice makeup, speak and act like a lady. That’s me.”

She is dismayed, she said, that the news reports described her as a prostitute, as if she walks the streets picking up just anyone.

“It’s the same, but it’s different,” she said, indicating that she is much more selective about her clients and charges much more than a streetwalker. “It’s like when you buy a fine rum or a BlackBerry or an iPhone. They have a different price.”

Boy, talk about a modern adaptation of the old Winston Churchill story: "Madam, we've already established that. Now we are just haggling about the price."

Apparently the hallway of a major hotel is not the best place to conduct the haggling.

Butt note, if you will, how the thinking of this (legal) prostitute reflects much of Big Guy’s view of the world:

  1. She expects to get reimbursed for her contraceptives.
  2. She uses the free market framework when it is advantageous.
  3. She describes her performance as what she would like it to be rather than what it actually is.
  4. She doesn’t appreciate the media calling a spade a spade.
  5. She believes the price defines the product rather than the reverse, thus proving she doesn’t really know anything about free market practices.

Oh well, good enough for government work.

Let’s just stay focused and keep our eyes on the prize.

free nobelAnd those tacos are doggoned good! I give them an A-

Linked By: Val on Moonbattery, and Mommy Life, and Larwyn’s Linx on Doug Ross@Journal, and NOBO2012 on Free Republic, Thanks!