MOTUS A.D.: “Got Insurance?”...“Used to got, but now, not.”

Wednesday, November 13, 2013

“Got Insurance?”...“Used to got, but now, not.”

What’s this? Bad news on Wednesday? This stuff’s supposed to be held till late Friday afternoon.

Prospects of having the Obamacare website up and running by November 30: zilch, zero, nada.

Butt no problem: we’ve got the marketing campaign ramped-up for when it does work: it’s called “got insurance?” and it’s got it all.

Stay balanced, my friend.

Hey Susie, hey Nate: Got Common Sense?

Drink up girls, it’s good for you.

Guess how many people - who used to “got insurance” that they liked - “not ‘got insurance’ today” because it was cancelled due to Obamacare? To date: 5 million; forecast: 52 million before this national nightmare is over.

Which might explain our falling numbers in the Presidential popularity contest too. In a nutshell: “not good” and getting “not gooder” (that’s new postmodern-grammar, see above).

So here’s a bright spot amidst all this “not gooder” news: Lady M has taken on a new role: “Michelle Obama Edges Into a Policy Role on Higher Education” (h/t Arabella Trefoil).

Michelle Obama, after nearly five years of evangelizing exercise and good eating habits, will begin a new initiative on Tuesday that seeks to increase the number of low-income students who pursue a college degree. The goals of the program reflect the first lady’s own life and will immerse her more directly in her husband’s policies.

And we’ve got pictures!

“Ok, Show of hands, how many recognize my frock?”

Many of Mrs. Obama’s supporters have been eager to see her use her résumé — before coming to Washington, she was an associate at the Sidley Austin law firm and a health care executive in Chicago — and her role as the first black first lady to expand her agenda. While she has also worked to help military families, her best-known initiative promotes healthy eating.

As I understand it, Lady M will be “expanding her agenda” beyond No Child’s Fat Behind to focus on the value of higher education. She will place special emphasis on birth control (“Got Birth Control?”),

and the new common core grammar (“Got Grammar?”).

“So, like, I’m sure none of you guys ever recall me not using non-standard grammar or syntax, right?”

We’re not focusing on math because both Lady M and Big Guy managed to get through college and enjoy huge success without ever having to take a math class. And they don’t want your kids punished with a math class either:

“Got Job?”

So they can spend $100,000 on a college degree in order to wait tables, ask if “you’d like fries with that order” or help us lower the unemployment rate and just stop looking for a job altogether. Then they can join the 92 million (and growing every month) Americans enjoying life outside the labor force. And get their free birth control from Obamacare too. THANKS, OBAMACARE!

Now where did Susie go? I’ve got a former boss who want’s to, uh..."Voir dire" her.

“Now Susie, place your right hand on...”