On his way to a campaign stop in Wisconsin, Big Guy took the occasion of Dr. Salk’s 100th Birthday to issue his tenth statement on Ebola since Sept. 17.
As with the first nine statements, it did little to assuage people’s fears or outline our policy for actually containing an Ebola outbreak in America, which is “
virtually impossible negligible extremely unlikely very low.” Butt what BO did clarify was that neither his administration nor the CDC actually know what they’re doing, that we won’t be quarantining people coming in from West Africa who have actually been in contact with people suffering from Ebola. Butt yes, we WILL be quarantining our military members returning from there who theoretically will NOT be coming in direct contact with people suffering from Ebola. (Our MIA Ebola Czar will explain these seemingly contradictory positions as soon as he’s out of quarantine.)
I don’t know who’s writing the remarks for BO and TOTUS these days, butt it seems to me they could stand to take our refresher remedial course in “How to Avoid the Overuse of Platitudes in Daily Rhetoric.” From Big Guy’s remarks:
It will be defeated. Progress is possible. But we're going to have to stay vigilant
and we've got to make sure that we're working together…
America in the end is not defined by fear. That's not who we are. America is defined by possibility. And when we see a problem and we see a challenge, then we fix it.
We don't just react based on our fears. We react based on facts and judgment and making smart decisions.
That's how we have built this country and sustained this country and protected this country.
That's why America has defined progress -- because we're not afraid when challenges come up.
Thanks to our military, our dedicated medical and health care professionals, the men and women who I spoke to today in West Africa, that leadership and progress continues.
And we're going to keep on making progress and we are going to solve this particular problem just like we’ve solved every other problem.
Uh oh - “just like we’ve solved every other problem!?!” With all due respect, I don’t think that’s exactly what people are looking for here, sir. This Ebola thing might require a few advanced skills not contained in our Remedial Problem Solving course:
Problem Solving 101 convention:
- Introduce problem
- Announce you just found out about it on the news
- Blame somebody else (preferably George W. Bush)
- Get really, really mad
- Appoint a Czar
- Problem solved
- Go play golf
The Obama Problem Solving Course: Abridged
Of course the hammer solution isn’t equally effective on all problems. Take Ebola for example:
It’s a lot more like a light bulb than a nail, a toxic CFL “Curly-Fry” light bulb to be specific. So our standard solution might actually, uh, make things worse.
Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network