Thursday, October 16, 2014

We be turnt up round da globe – to fight Ebola. Yo!

I’m pretty sure you’ve seen Lady M’s Vine video (note to self: redundant) by now, butt in case you just fell off a turnip truck, here it is again:

Brought to you by the DNC

How on earth, you ask, did the turnip dance “turn up?” You’ll be shocked to hear it was all preplanned as part of one of our “#askthefirstlady” social media events. The question was asked in such a way (vapid, by some accounts) as to give Lady M a lead-in to her really cool rap and turnip dance. The intent, in case it was lost on you, was to make MO, and by association her favorite purple root vegetable, appear to be really hip by “rapping” it. As the WaPo explains:

Never has a taproot lent itself so well to meme-ification, for which we can thank rappers 2 Chainz (“Turn Up”), Roscoe Dash (“All the Way Turnt Up”) and Lil Jon (“Turn Down For What”).

Thank you, gentlemen. Your contributions to society cannot be overstated.

Hmmmmm; lyrics from 2 Chainz Turn Up:

Walked In then I turnt Up
Pockets Full Of Hunnuds

I “cant show no mo” of this rap because of my own ban on the n-word and the f-word.

Then there’s this, from Roscoe All the Way Turnt Up:

Excuse me wile I turn up
All dese hoes be choosen but I'm turnt up all the way
I don't turned up on da road
I be turned up round da globe

Again, I “cant show no mo” because, well, you know.

So how cool is that!? RAPPING! For a FLOTUS I mean?

mo garden1Oh yeah, I’m all that cool.

And not only that, butt she brought along the house white boy to celebrate the annual fall harvest event at the White House “kitchen garden,” aka the Organic Garden of Good and Evil.

imrsHe’s pretty cool too; in a white hot sort of way, right?

Meanwhile, on the Ebola front: Big Guy was forced to cancel two campaign/fundraising trips in order to address the spreading threat. Having been assured in the past that Big Guy can “do two things at once” and needn’t suspend his plans to address other grave issues such as Benghazi and ISIS beheadings, I just have to ask: is it time to panic now?

“I want people to understand that the dangers of you contracting Ebola, the dangers of a serious outbreak are extraordinarily low,” Obama told reporters after meeting for roughly two hours with aides in the Cabinet Room. “But we are taking this very seriously at the highest levels of government.”

No, not yet; we are in the very best of hands, and they are taking it “very seriously.”

I guess they really do think we’ve just fallen off a turnip truck. To re-quote the WaPo report:

“Thank you, gentlemen. Your contributions to society cannot be overstated.”


PickledTurnip660g91817Our Turnips are Pickled Now

Today’s special report on root vegetables was brought to you by:

the molsterman report copy

Linked By: BlogsLucianneLoves, and Free Republic, Thanks!

Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network