Tuesday, January 20, 2015

SOTU Preview: Dress to Kill and Soak the Rich

You know what they say: the only things you can count on are death and taxes. And with Big Guy’s new plan - scheduled for the big reveal tonight – we get both rolled into WON! That’s right, the retreaded Robin Hood agenda includes new, stiff Grim Reaper taxes. So if you didn’t earn that yourself, you’ll have to share it with BigGov.com who will redistribute it for you: to the poor - and, if there’s any left after we’ve leveled the playing field for America’s least fortunate, the middle class.

Our current cute-white-guy-spokes-mouth, “Josh” “Ernest” has been practicing reeling our “soak-the-rich” redistribution plan off his tongue at breakneck speed without pausing to breathe.

josh earn“Take it from the top,Josh, and this time make it sound sincere…”

Because we’ve discovered if you just keep talking really fast you can avoid difficult questions  like “why has the gap between rich and poor in America grown steadily during Big Guy’s term?”

buffet“Because the more you give, the more you get.It’s that simple.” 

It’s a simple plan really, and designed to ensure that we never run out of other people’s money.

Butt I’m getting way ahead of myself. For now the only important question is what important designer will Lady M decide to wear tonight? It’s hard to believe we’ve already endured seen 6 of these and are still scheduled to endure see another 2.

soto 09-14From left to right; 2009 in Narciso Rodriguez, 2010 in Issac Mizrahi, 2011 in Rachel Roy, 2012 in Barbara Tfank, 2013 in Jason Wu and 2014 in Azzedine Alaia.

Trust me on this, they all look better from the front than they do from the rear:

the butts have it

I suspect the same will be said of Big Guy’s entire presidency some day, regardless of how you feel now.

So my advice is to either skip the speech, or grab a cold one, some popcorn, and pretend you’re watching Saturday Night Live. Under NO circumstances do I recommend you participate in any version of the popular SOTU drinking game. It could be hazardous to your health.

And trust me on this: getting hammered with MO and BO isn’t as much fun as you might think:


When you wake up you always find you’ve somehow shrunk and stumbled down the rabbit hole again.

drink me alice in wonderland

Linked By: Larwyn’s Linx on Doug Ross@Journal, and BlogsLucianneLoves, and Free Republic, Thanks!

Cross-Posted on RedState and Patriot Action Network