Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Mikileak: Sort of Like a Wikileak, except from MOTUS

Normally I wouldn’t share this - even with you, my most trusted advisors. Butt I have it on good authority that Wikileaks will be releasing all of this classified information to the New York Times later this month anyway, so I wanted to give you a heads up.

The super secret mission began a couple of weeks ago, while Big Guy was still planning to take OBL out.  You may have already seen this secret handshake/note exchange between Big Guy and Brigadier General Edward Wilson at Cape Canaveral on April 29th. Contrary to what is reported by Father Guido Sarducci in this Italian press account, the exchange took place prior to Big Guy’s gutsy “uh, positively; go” call on the Osama bin Laden takedown.

Big Guy exchanges super secret notes with Brigadier General Edward Wilson

video H/T Weaselzippers

Here’s what Big Guy’s note  to the General said:


Click to embiggen (then click again to zoom)

And this is the note that Big Guy got in return from Brigadier General Edward Wilson:


Click to embiggen

So. Now you know about the super secret notes, the super secret mission and the reason you’re not going to see any dead OBL pictures. Sorry about the quality of the note images. There was a lot of security around so my normal systems were blocked and I had to use my Brownie spy camera.

As a little reward for my optic erasing services, I got a trip through the heartland of America, requiring only one side trip to Ames, Iowa to reflect Lady M in her doctorate robes.

And since I had such a good time away from the Big White, I thought I’d try to take your minds off the daily grind a bit too, with a fun contest! Those of you on the two coasts will be at a distinct disadvantage, butt feel free to cheat – it’s fast becoming an American tradition.

So here’s the contest: It’s sort of a “guess where MOTUS spent the night after refracting Lady M’s, like, gazillionth honorary degree” game. Hint: it’s somewhere between Ames, Iowa and Chicago, Illinois.

An aside: in Chicago, MOTUS herself got caught up in one of Bruno’s giant Homeland Security sweeps. I was pulled over by the local gendarmes to be quizzed on Homeland Security issues regarding “what was I transporting, from where and why?” After being stopped under the auspices of “You crossed the line,” (?) the nice young gendarme explained that he just wanted to ensure that I was neither tired or drunk. I wasn’t. It was only 11:00 AM, and I had enjoyed a good night’s sleep in the town that will be the subject of our contest.

So then came the real reason for the traffic stop: the 24 question Homeland Security grilling: in the gendarme’s car no less! MOTUS has never been in a police car before. I’ll have to thank Bruno for that privilege. And compliment her on the efficiency of her efficacious Homeland Security directives to local law enforcement agencies to stop suspicious looking Jeepsters with car top carriers traveling into big cities:


Butt you’ll be pleased to know, as was I, that MOTUS was released with just a verbal warning. I’m not sure for what, since I’m fairly certain that I didn’t really cross any lines.

Anyway, back to the contest. Can you identify this lovely little town where I rested my head before my big bust in Chicago? Some clues:

Here’s the highway bridge that brings you out of town towards the Windy City, across a mighty river:


Here are the railroad tracks heading north out of town:


…and from the north, into town:







And here’s a little shack crammed in between the tracks and the river just north of town:


Here’s your first big clue: they sell fish. From the river! Three kinds: Carp, Cat and Sturgeon,  Ewwww! Fresh or smoked. Little Mo bought Sturgeon. Ewwww!

This is “downtown”:


And there’s a riverboat!


No “Main Street” though. N. Cody Street (which is The main street) runs through town. Not busy on Sunday morning.










Another big clue: the “new school” restaurant “downtown”


and an old school restaurant, just south of town:


And a big clue: it’s called Steventon’s and it’s the spot for kids to go for dinner on Prom night, the first Saturday in May. Dozens of princesses with their matching Prince Charmings. In case you were wondering, aqua is a huge color this year. Think 1954 (correction:1956, thanks Charming Richard – who had one! V-8, three on the tree. Heaven.) Chevy Bel Air aqua:



4d 1958prom4d1957c55c2b5_117762n4d1956Prom-dress-2011S1107-B-ANOUSKA_2

BTW, strapless and sparkles: also in (butt I think you already knew that).

Back to the contest: This is the deck at Steventon’s, awaiting the arrival of prom kings and queens.


Last big clue: this is the smoke house shack. It’s on Cody too, on the north side of town.


And just in case you’re curious, this is what 3 smoked Mississippi River sturgeon (minus their ugly heads) look like:


and this…


is what they look like up close. Yes, those spikey things are like lances, be very careful. Butt after a lot of work around bones and spikes and skin, they’re delicious with cream cheese on bagels. Or plain on crackers. Who knew?? I’m hiding it from you-know-who.

First person to guess the correct town earns MOTUS’ undying admiration for their  knowledge of Americana: real Americana.

Now regarding Lady M: let me just say in my defense, I was not officially back on duty as of yesterday afternoon. So why don’t you just go ahead and try to guess what she was doing here on the south lawn of the Big White, too.


Guessing which way OBL’s soul headed?

milk run

The new milk maid?