Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Comprehensive Immigration Reform: WTF Now!?

Did you see Big Guy with his fans in El Paso yesterday?

DNC Moody theatreBig Guy “bonding” with a special fan

For people who’ve been wondering why Obama shot Osama last  week, this trip might provide a hint as to the timing. “Some critics say” that the assassination was done to boost Big Guy’s numbers ahead of his push to get his Hispanic base back in his boot camp. They think he shafted them by ignoring his promise to pass “comprehensive immigration reform”, aka amnesty, as he promised.

I believe the implication is that now that he’s “hot” again, he’s going to start pushing Latino buttons with the “I’m too sexy for my shirt” theme in hopes of sucking this portion of his Democratic base back into the WTF pot. How cynical is that? I mean the people who think that’s what he’s doing, because you can tell from that picture, it is so working!

In other, unrelated, news, Big Guy invited a small group of elite Latinos to the Big White last week to “brainstorm” with him on what could be done to advance comprehensive immigration reform. Included in this Hispanic brain trust was Eva Longoria – actress and masters degree candidate at CSU Northridge  (because that’s what this country really needs: more desperate housewives with masters degrees in Chicano Studies). When she emerged from the think tank, Eva told us:

'The people who were in that room have a very strong presence in media so we have to help reshape the immigration talk and rhetoric about it being about xenophobia or anti-immigration. It's really an economic decision', she explained.


Eva-Longoria-Wardrobe-Malfunction-David-LettermanEva explains comprehensive immigration, and economics, to Dave

I’ll bet Big Guy never thought of this, butt Eva might prove to be a very helpful advocate in advancing his agenda with Latinos. And she’s hot too!

article-1384134-0BED3C2900000578-608_468x770 Eva does D.C.

Meanwhile BO’s plan to WTF with Latinos is to pander campaign in heavily Hispanic states and make fun of the R-words who want a strong border policy. Apparently the R-words think we’ve got too many illegal  undocumented workers here already. So this allows Big Guy to place the blame firmly where he wants it:

…the strategy allows Obama to highlight that Republicans are the ones blocking an immigration bill - shifting responsibility away from himself as his re-election campaign approaches.

While implementing tried and true Alinsky Rule # 5. Here’s Big Guy unleashing the alligators:

On his first trip to the U.S.-Mexico border since becoming president, Obama boasted of increasing border patrol agents, nearing completion of a border fence, and screening more cargo.

"We have gone above and beyond what was requested by the very Republicans who said they supported broader reform as long as we got serious about enforcement," Obama said. "But even though we've answered these concerns, I gotta say I suspect there are still going to be some who are trying to move the goal posts on us one more time."

"Maybe they'll need a moat," he said mockingly to laughter from the crowd. "Maybe they'll want alligators in the moat." (polite tittering)

Hee. Butt I think a lot of people would support moats filled with alligators if that would keep drug dealers, drug gangs, murderers, and illegal undocumented workers out of the country.

Butt none of this doesn’t explains Lady M’s recent infatuation with Beyoncé: maybe she should have had JLo’s big old butt do the Move your Body video.

JLo-2is that whoopieBecause that girl certainly knows how to rock a pair of Louboutin’s. And that might come in handy for dancing.


Or maybe Big Guy and Lady M have just split up the victim groups between them to pander appeal to.

That would explain the Big White Poetry Slam night invitee list.


Which is tonight. I can hardly wait!

Roses are red

green is the grass

someone in here

has a gi-normous…