Corvallis, Oregon? Well, Marbella, Spain it’s not, butt it’s the best we could do under the circumstances.
The media seems to be waking from their 3 year slumber a bit, so we have to be a little more discriminating about how we spend our free time and your money. So it looks like we can’t take our customary August pre-vaycay vaycay this year without a lot of jibs flapping. So that’s why we settled for flying Air Force Won Two out to visit big bro, his skinny white wife and their Halfrican-American baby, who reminds Lady M of Big Guy – except for the red hair.
And you can ignore the rumors about a tiff between Lady M and Big Guy; it’s really nothing more than the usual.
Anyway, with Lady M out of the house Big Guy and his team could finally focus on the important issues: strategies to WTF in 2012.
Big Guy’s team assumes that Mitt’s going to be the “contender” so they’ve drafted a plan for “Mitt-acopolypse” in which we’re going to destroy Romney by claiming he’s “inauthentic,” “unprincipled” and “weird.” Throw in “arrogant” “inexperienced” and “gay” and we could have a veritable Obama-rama experience! This is going to be fun!
If we have to, we can also drag in that whole business about the secret Mormon underwear and the too-good-to-be-true Mormon hair.
Which you have to admit is really more presidential than Wasp hair:
And the team is also considering using the fact that Mitt’s Dad was once brainwashed when he was running for president. They think this could be useful because they can contend that the apple never falls far from the tree - like-father-like-son and all. Although I’m not sure we want to head down that path.
Let’s review the Père et Fils similarities of Mitt and BO:
First, the similarities between Mitt and George
George: Mexico! (looks like he couldn’t have been President even if he hadn’t been brainwashed!)
George: Autodidact (self-educated)
Mitt: BA Brigham Young; JD, MBA Harvard, cum laude (and there are records)
George: CEO, American Motors; Governor, MI
Mitt: CEO, Bain Capital; Governor, MA
George: moderate conservative Republican
Mitt: moderate, moderate conservative Republican
Number of wives:
George: 1, (butt entitled to more)
And now, consider the uncanny similarities between Big Guy and his doting father, despite the fact he wasn’t around much. Genetics are awesome!
BHO Sr.: Harvard educated (no records available)
BHO Jr.: Harvard educated (no records available)
BHO Sr.: government functionary (and community organizer)
BHO Jr.: government puppet (and community organizer)
BHO Sr.: Marxist, anti-imperialist
BHO Jr.: Wild-ass Marxist and anti-imperialist
BHO Sr.: Kenya
BHO Jr.: Kenya, by way of Hawaii
BHO Sr.: 2 or more
BHO Jr.: 1(to a member of the opposite sex)
On second thought, maybe we’ll just leave that “like father like son” part out of the mix for now.