Friday, December 14, 2012

Happy HaMukkah: Keeping it “Kosher” since 2009

I know some of you are still wondering how Big Guy won his reelection. Well, I have a small insight for you: first, there is nothing – no matter how large or small, sacred or profane – that cannot be used for your political purposes. Take Hanukkah for example:

Screenshot Studio capture #814That’s right Big Guy - Chin-up!  U WON!

First, you invite 600 of your best Jewish friends and benefactors, then you follow the White House tradition of selecting a menorah with some kind of meaningful history. “Meaningful history” used to mean having something to do with the survival of the Jewish people following the Diaspora or the Holocaust. Since Big Guy’s been here, though, it’s had more to do with surviving hurricanes for some reason. This year we celebrated the story of how Big Guy took was credited with saving the victims of Hurricane Sandy from government red tape.


obama fema help sandy

A 90-year-old menorah from a temple on Long Island that was ravaged by Hurricane Sandy will be displayed at a Hanukkah party hosted by President Obama as a symbol of perseverance and hope for the holidays.

The brass menorah survived a 10-foot storm surge that destroyed a chapel, a library, numerous religious books and six Torah scrolls at Temple Israel in Long Beach, according to the congregation’s rabbi, David S. Bauman.

You may recall that back in 2010, Big White officials selected a menorah salvaged from a synagogue destroyed by Hurricane Katrina – long after most people had grown weary of blaming George W. Bush for letting the chocolate people in New Orleans die (h/t: Ray “Tha levies is still holdin’” Nagin). Butt Big Guy’s instincts told him it was a story worth keeping alive - with the reelection only 2 years away. As usual, his political instincts were correct.

hannukah2010Hanakkuh 2010: “Thank you for coming, and thank you in advance for all your shekels.”

For some reason there was no official menu for this year’s Hanukkah party released by the Big White, butt in this case, past performance may be a guarantee of current results: a bountiful  banquet including latkes served with smoked salmon,

latkes and smoked salmonphoto credit Obama Foodorama

roast beef (Chateaubriand) with caramelized onions and shiitake mushrooms, pine nut-herb crusted lamb, winter salad, and three kinds of kosher Sushi rolls,

kosher sushiIs Shrimp considered “kosher” now?

Plus a whole dessert buffet of  Hanukkah treats including deep-fried jelly donuts. (See here for full menu from past celebrations – and to think: they gave Betty Ford a hard time for spending $1600 on Christmas decorations for her “Homespun Christmas” theme! My how times have changed.)


Now, in case you’re planning your own Hanukkah party, here’s one last menu suggestion. Brought to you from our Big White Department of Protocol:

hannaka ham2010 price for your “Chanukah Ham”

chanukah ham 2012 “Chanukah Ham” price (NOTE: this price differential is not due to inflation – we do not have that phenomena here in the Obameconomy)

bo mo what everBig Guy, taking Lady M’s pulse: good to go! Butt no more Stoli – I don’t think it’s kosher.

Linked By: BlogsLucianneLoves, and NOBO2012 on Free Republic, Thanks!