Another Super Bowl in the can, and the official results are in. Beyoncé was hot, the commercials, not (with the exception of Chrysler’s odes to our military and farmers, butt they weren’t technically commercials). There was a delay of game penalty called due to a temporary brown-out in the Chocolate City. And, oh yes…the Ravens won!
So from the top: did you see Beyoncé shaking her considerable Behindce all over the half-time show?
No wonder she didn’t have time to practice for the inauguration and had to lipsync! Last night’s performance was not just live, butt live in hot black leather and lace! With matching hot black knee-high sock-boots. Lady M was mesmerized:
Right back atcha, MO!
Big Guy tweeted too: an official game day picture of…his own hot self.
Butt back to Beyoncé; not only did she shake it all over the place, she reunited with her former Destiny’s Child partners.
While the Destiny chicks are hot too, I think you can see in this butt-to-butt playoff why – in the Age of JLo - Bey was the break-out star in that group.
Bey’s booty left the stage after its “electrifying” performance,
play got back underway, and out of nowhere ZAP! A power surge! And just like that, half the lights went out in the Super Dome. It was like Hurricane Katrina all over again: a bunch of antsy people crammed into the Super Dome and no power. Only who do we blame this time? George W. Bush? Dick Cheney? Mayor Ray “the levees ain’t holdin” Nagin? Destiny?
The official explanation is as follows:
“A piece of equipment that is designed to monitor electrical load sensed an abnormality in the system. Once the issue was detected, the sensing equipment operated as designed and opened a breaker, causing power to be partially cut to the Superdome in order to isolate the issue. Backup generators kicked in immediately as designed.”
Allow me to translate: as part of a “Greening of New Orleans” effort in general and a promotional “Greening of the Super Bowl” in particular, “…eco-friendly fans and city leaders in New Orleans” competed to “to maximize sustainability practices to the fullest.”
To make this the greenest Super Bowl, the New Orleans Host Committee has partnered with fans and the community to offset energy use across the major Super Bowl venues.
To wit: load management. Unfortunately one of their eco-friendly “load managing” “sensors” malfunctioned (as green energy things often do) and the next thing you know:
Half of the Super Dome went black. Is that racist? No. As I just explained, it was green.
I’ve tried to warn Big Guy about this before: green energy isn’t ready for prime time. Solar cells, windmills and battery powered electric cars all have a history of blowing up in your face.
And now this Super Bowl fiasco. No wonder the sale of electric cars tanked in January:
Of course, there’s a chance I’m wrong and the blackout had nothing to do with New Orleans’ green energy policy. Maybe it was simply the result of bad business practices. The type of practices that result in the shoddy products and workmanship you get when you use kickbacks, graft and corruption to determine who is awarded city contracts. You know, the kind of practices that resulted in the indictment of former Mayor Ray Nagin on 21 charges of corruption including wire fraud, bribery and money laundering?
Sheeze, bribes and kickbacks in exchange for city contracts? No wonder it took the Crescent City so long to get back on it’s feet after Dick Cheney blew up the levees.
UPDATE: Beyoncé Blows Power!!!
According to NFL superstar Boomer Esiason, Beyoncé’s “Electrifying” performance was not hyperbole: