Tuesday, June 25, 2013

Lady M Hammers The Message & The Smells

You heard about Lady M’s new advisor, MC, right?


  No, silly, not MC Hammer! This MC:


Maria Cristina González Noguera, who goes by MC for short, was announced as the new communications director for the East Wing on Monday, with her official title including the acknowledgement as a special assistant to the President as well.

MC’s going to have some big shoes to fill - Kristina Schake’s. Kristina, our current “communications director” is the creative force behind Lady M’s image. She practically  made us who we are today. For example, “Let’s Move!” – that was all Kristina’s idea!

mo signature cheering

You might say it was her idea to put the  “moovement”  into “Let’s Move!”

Screenshot Studio capture #1188Screenshot Studio capture #1189

Wow! Who would want to compete with that?

Now, I need to point out that just because MC comes to us from the House of Estee Lauder, she will not be our new makeup artist. That job is already being handled by a staff of 12, headed up by official Makeup Artist to the FLOTUS #3, Carl Ray who succeeded  makeup artist #2, Derrick Rutledge, the makeup artist to the stars who took over from makeup artist #1, Ingrid Grimes-Myles, when it became clear that we had outgrown her talents.

So while we will be happy to accept MC’s advice on Lady M’s odors fragrances:

Screenshot Studio capture #1191Pleasures, Youth Dew and Beautiful: perfect!

As well as any free samples she can supply us with:

Screenshot Studio capture #1190Nutritious, Idealist, Perfectionist: Again, Perfect!

We won’t be needing any of their Cyber Eyes, although I understand the NSA and the IRS have ordered 600,000 cases for various operations.

cyber eyes copy

Anyway, MC’s resume is nearly as impressive as Lady M’s:

"Maria Cristina González Noguera is an experienced communications executive currently serving as the Global Vice President, Corporate Communications, for the Estée Lauder Companies Inc. (ELC). Ms. González Noguera advises the Company’s leadership team on strategic communications matters including government affairs, media relations, issues management, and employee engagement. During her tenure at ELC she has played a significant role in leading and integrating the Company’s extensive corporate responsibility initiatives. Prior to joining ELC, Ms. González Noguera was a Managing Director for the Washington, D.C., strategic communications firm Chlopak, Leonard, Schechter & Associates (CLS). A native of San Juan, Puerto Rico, Ms. González Noguera is a graduate of Tufts University. She is married and has a one-year-old son."

Except that she doesn’t have a law degree from Harvard that she voluntarily surrendered.

Although we’re thrilled to welcome MC onboard, Lady M personally expressed her regrets over Kristina’s departure:

In a statement, Michelle Obama says, “Kristina has been an essential and valued advisor to me over the past two and a half years.  Her expertise in strategic planning and her creativity have been invaluable not just to me but to the entire Administration and I am truly grateful for her leadership and counsel.  While she will be greatly missed at the White House, the impact of her work will be lasting.”

Translation: don’t let the door hit you in the arse on the way out.

Butt for the record, here are a few of the creative, strategic initiatives that Kristina is responsible for and we will all remember long after Kristina moves on to a more highly compensated job on K Street in the private sector, due to her invaluable electronic Rolodex:

Our Military Families campaign:

mo incomingWatch out! Incoming!!

Our multiple TV gigs, from Potato Sack racing with Jimmy Fallon in the East Room


to the  “Evolution of Mom Dancing.”

dance moms

And who can ever forget Kristina’s major contribution to creating Lady M’s fashionista image by landing her a gig at last year’s Nickelodeon Award Show!

mo wtfmo and taylorthese legs don't match mo

Now that’s a lot of creative strategizing, right there. I sure hope MC’s able to fill her shoes.


All I can say is “good luck, Maria Cristina.”

So, to recap: MC is NOT here as Lady M’s makeup artist, that would be Carl.

MC is actually a PR person specializing in communications and fragrances and she’s here to help us with strategic planning and creativity. I get the help with smells, butt I’ve no idea why Lady M would need a strategist, unless she’s planning to run for president in 2016.


And if that’s the case, she’ll need a new makeup artist.

Linked By: Larwyn’s Linx on Doug Ross@Journal, and Clarice Feldman on facebook, and BlogsLucianneLoves, and Free Republic, Thanks!

Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network