Tuesday, October 22, 2013

Obamacare: on Cue, to the Rescue

I know what you’re thinking: it’s the perfect allegory, right?

Woman falls ill, “Big Healthcare.Gov” is there to catch her as she’s falling. Oh, and BTW, her name is “Karmel” – how perfect is that!!

vanilla-salted-caramel-and-chocolate-mousseNot too dark, not too light: just right!

A little too perfect, say the usual critics (Tea Party Anarchists). They’re off, spinning their usual, unfounded, conspiracy theories. You know how they plot their little scenarios by now: they’ll claim that BO’s Big Brains and otherwise useful idiots advisors wrote the fake faint right into the script so Barry can come to her aid.

As they say, just because it’s a conspiracy theory doesn’t mean it isn’t true. Here’s the inside scoop, butt don’t tell any bloggers or talking heads on the radio, they’ll try to make it sound so, uh, so…dishonest.

Since it’s already a well established fact that Big Guy makes people, mostly women, swoon;


the Big Brains (BBs) thought it would seem quite natural it we could get a pregnant woman to feign fainting.

Big Guy would be going along, talking about how great Obamacare is and how disappointed he is about the glitches in 5 million lines of code that are preventing millions from finding out just how great – when all of a sudden, blam-o!

Lady faints, BO catches her as she’s falling. It will reinforce his rock star reputation, make him look like a hero when he catches her in mid-swoon and leave the MSM with the perfect imagery and metaphor for Obamacare:

karmel swoonsHelp Me! I’m falling! And I’m afraid I’ll never be able to get up on my own.

Butt since all the tools Obamacare supporters would be standing behind him, the only way the BBs could think of to have BO swivel around at precisely the right moment to save the day, was to load TOTUS up with the cue “turn around and catch pregnant lady before she topples over.”  Yet there was fear that one of “the bloggers and the talking heads on radio” that Big Guy doesn’t want you to listen to would see it, and try to spin it into some BFD (h/t Joey Biden). And just as an aside…technically you can’t have a “talking head on radio” as “talking head” refers to the visual image of, well, you know, a “talking head.” Butt then, we always get out metaphors mixed up around here.

matthews.3jpgA true talking head, not just some disembodied voice

Anyway, back to my story; here’s where I come in. Since TOTUS was eliminated as a co-conspirator because of the ease with which the enemy camp could detect the deceit, I became the fallback accomplice. All I had to do was stand there, off to the side, in the flower bed, reflecting what was going on behind Barry so he could pivot at just the right moment:

motus rose garden reflections-1

motus rose garden reflections-2

They just instructed BO to watch for the moment when Karmel’s face looked like something out of “The Walking Dead” – or virtually every other Obot about to swoon.


So now you know one of our tricks! It’s really easy.

Obama-magicPlaying with that old Black Magic since 2009

And if you sign up for Obamacare today, you’ll also get your own copy of “Navigating Your Health Benefits for Dummies!” 


But wait! For the first 40 million to enroll, we’ll also throw in a copy of the most popular book in our “Dummies” series, “Magic for Dummies” absolutely free! (Just pay separate process and handling.)


It’s easy, and it’s fun, so don’t delay: sign up TODAY to get your free copy. And if you’re not completely happy with your new Obamacare policy, you can return the books for free!

Seriously, the “magic” around here – it’s so simple a caveman could do it:

so easy obama can do it

Linked By: Abby L Call, Susana Patrick, Fred Hopkins on facebook, and @ValCSilver, @Standlow on twitter, and BlogsLucianneLoves, and NOBO2012 on Free Republic, Thanks!

Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network