Tuesday, May 29, 2018

(Re-)Training Day

Today is the day Starbucks closes over 8000 stores for a Virtue Signaling Caffeine-Free Day of Atonement™ and racial healing.

All because back in April some racist manager attempted to follow Starbuck’s racist store policy and threw a couple of guys (black, which is the only relevant fact) out of the store because they didn’t buy anything.

starbucks controversy

In April, a Starbucks manager in Philadelphia called the police when two young African-American men refused to leave his store for loitering. When the pair still refused to leave, they were arrested, setting off a national outcry.

Starbucks Chairman Howard Schultz quickly stepped into the fracas. Sitting down with the affected gentlemen, Schultz negotiated a deal which satisfied all parties. Part of the concessions that Starbucks made was to change store policies to prevent future racially-charged incidents.

Moving forward, Starbucks restrooms will be available to all patrons, irrespective of whether they’re paying customers. – InvestorPlace

Oh, plus the chain agreed to hold a special training day to teach baristas not to be racist pigs.

training day moviestarbucks

Of course, Starbucks has already reneged (can I say that?) on their new policy of opening its bathrooms to everyone.

starbucks red pill

They’ve since “clarified” the pathetic, knee-jerk policy they implemented in response to the bad publicity. After it became apparent that they had inadvertently turned their places of business into homeless shelters filled with “needles, drug baggies and blood all over the walls”  they established some additional “guidelines” to further “explain” their new open borders policy. Or as Rush explained:

“All of two days of human debris swarming Starbucks stores, and they had to immediately reinstitute the old policy that led to charges they were racist. I’m sorry, I just find it humorous. Very, very teachable moment. They won’t learn anything from it, but the rest of us certainly can use it as a teachable moment.”

So if you work at Starbucks, have a good day. My advice, having survived many corporate training sessions, is to sit up straight, look as if you are truly concerned and committed to implementing whatever change in behavior the facilitator is suggesting you embrace. Because remember: it’s not only right for the company, but it’s the right thing to do! As a human being.

DO NOT act as if you’re only there because there’s a gun to your head.


Follow my suggestions and at the end of the session you’ll get a free cup of coffee, a gold star and maybe even an ‘attaboy!’ from the lead facilitator.

denzel washington training day mah nigga

Oh yeah, baby! We do Racism Right.

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