To make matters worse Santa tested positive for the cooties and has been placed in isolation for 10 days so won’t be able to make the rounds this Christmas Eve. The powers-that-be replaced him with Brandon, who doesn’t seem quite up to the task as he can’t find his way out of a brown paper bag with a bread crumb trail leading the way.
And the eight tiny reindeer? They’ve been replaced by the best team of donkeys Brandon could find for his fantasy flight: Inflation, Immigration, Taxation, Stagflation, Cancellation, Negation, Agitation and one tiny Haitian.
My suggestion: Do your own shopping this year; and don’t leave your gifts under the tree this Christmas Eve as Brandon is more likely to take your presents than he is to leave them. He gets confused these days you know.
LET’S GO BRANDON!
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