Saturday, April 1, 2023

Yes, We Have No Bananas


I thought Woody Allen’s Bananas was funny when it was released in 1971. Of course at the time I didn’t know Woody was a sex obsessed pervert, nor did I think there was any possibility that the USA could ever degenerate into the sort of banana republic depicted in the kitschy movie.

But here we are, 50 years hence, and it doesn’t seem so funny now that it’s more a reflection of truth. We have a “justice” system that is not simply two-tiered but completely bent, and decaying fast.

Single overripe banana isolated on white

Perhaps the woke amongst us will point out that devolving into a banana republic is actually cultural appropriation which, as I understand it, is offensive.

chiquita_bananaAnd possibly sexist as well

Just as The Simpsons has predicted every major event in 21st century America, Bananas somehow managed to provide the sound track for the Trump indictment:

Witness: I'm sorry to disappoint you, but I've known Fielding Mellish for years and he's a warm, wonderful human being.

Fielding Mellish: Uh, would the clerk read that statement back please?

Court Clerk: "I've known Fielding Mellish for years and he's a rotten, conniving, dishonest little rat."

Fielding Mellish: Ok, I just wanted to make sure you were getting it.

Come to think of it, Woody’s Bananas provided the soundtrack for the entire Biden administration. Starting with the old perv himself:

Fielding Mellish: I'm doing a sociological study on perversion. I'm up to Advanced Child Molesting.

Fielding Mellish: Fellas, I don't wanna be President. You're making a big mistake. You gotta be smart to be a President. Let me be Vice President. That's - that's a real idiot's job.

To the Biden State Department:

Fielding Mellish: You cannot bash in the head of an American citizen without written permission from the State Department.

The Biden Foreign Relations team, who thinks we should all be eating bugs to save the planet:

Fielding Mellish: Although the United States is a very rich country, and San Marcos is a very poor one, there are a great many things we have to offer your country in return for aid. For instance, there...there are locusts. We have more locusts. There are locusts of all races and creeds. These, these locusts, incidentally, are available at popular prices.

The Woke Judiciary:

Fielding Mellish: I move for a mistrial! Do you realize there's not a single homosexual on that jury? Judge: Yes there is.

And finally, the Biden administration’s conundrum with respect to Trump:

Fielding Mellish: The Americans won't recognize us; because, they think we're Communists. The Communists won't recognize us; because, they think we're American puppets. The one person in the world who would recognize us was arrested yesterday.

I can’t help but feel that, if he were still with us, Rush might advise that now is the time to panic. I know he promised it would never come to that, but I think he meant in his lifetime.

bananaboyzHands up! Don’t Shoot! We give up.

Yes, We Have No Bananas.