Monday, July 6, 2009

Can We Please Not Say “Preggers”?

Oh dear! Those nasty rumors of MO being preggers just won’t go away.

They started back in January but I thought between MO’s plausible denial, via Oprah’s Blog, and my slimming reflections we pretty much squashed them.Just like we did with those silly birth certificate stories that keep raising their ugly head.

Now some snoopy reporters are saying that FLOTUS looked tired and nauseous in Russia. And they’re asking again about a baby bump.

First of all, she was in RUSSIA people! Did you see what the women wear there – even in the middle of summer? Not an Armani, Prada or even Narcisco in sight! And still with the Bubushkas everywhere. Who wouldn’t be nauseous?

And tired? BO, Vladi and Demitri kept her awake all night playing poker, yelling "Na Zdorov'ye!" every time they tossed back a Stoly. Then they all had to show off their abs, and run through their routines. Apparently the Ruskies' routines involved nubile young girls with special Pilate equipment and gypsy music. Who wouldn’t be tired?

As for that baby bump: all I can say is she enjoys a steak and a little lobster dipped in butter to go with that organic crap she’s growing all over the damn yard.

I’m doing my best here, but some days MO just won’t work with my refractors. When she gets all hormone-y like that, even my trans-imaging won't do the trick.