Lady M was reading this the other day about eco-friendly bamboo luxury fibers being used in high-end fashion such as Viridis Luxe - favored by the eco-elites in Hollywood – when a little light went off in her head. Why not use her clout to promote not only healthy eating, but healthy dressing as well? Better living through organics!
So now we’re going to expand the Big White’s organic garden to include fruits and veggies suitable for high fashion. MO wanted to put in a bamboo grove, but the Secret Service nixed that idea for security reasons: too much cover for potential evil doers.
Besides, as it turns out the luxury fibers aren’t so eco-friendly after all. Apparently to create fabric, “it's chopped up and dissolved in toxic solvents—the same process that recycles wood scraps into viscose or rayon.” Eeeeuuu! Who knew?
So we considered other eco-friendly crops. Cotton was out for obvious reasons.
Flax is still in the running, although it’s pretty hard to consider linen “luxury” along any lines other than you need a staff of servants to keep it ironed.
So MO has pretty much settled on sweet potatoes. Pretty fibrous, and delicious with those little marshmallows.
We have all winter to iron out the details. We need to find a fiber manufacturer who can process the sticky fibers without chemicals. Apparently there’s no such process known to man yet, which is the same teensy-tiny problem the bamboo people have encountered as well, but like I said, we have all winter. As well as George Soros’ entire empire at our disposal: how hard can it be? Besides, he’s already committed to Big Guy that if he can create or save 1million jobs by pursuing an eco-friendly process for turning sweet potatoes into silk.
Lady M is going to delegate that processing part, maybe to Eric Holder, in order to focus on her strong suit, design, We’ve lined up a whole list of designers, and Lady M can’t wait to share some of her very own creative fashion ideas with them.
So watch for our new Spring line of wearable vegan resort wear!
As well as a full line of handbags and millinery:
And even feminine undergarments:
A full line of eco-friendly, totally sustainable fashion. Good enough to eat. Mmm, mmm, mmm!
We’re still not sure what to call Lady M’s fashion line. Let me know which of these you like best: “Greening Your Seaming”, or “Gussets and Russets?” We’ve already rejected “Gowns of Greens: Made From Beans” and “Casual Cords Made From Gourds.” Just too wordy.