So, it looks like we’re not going to Chelsea’s wedding after all. More about that tomorrow. As you may imagine, this is a bit of a sore point.
The good news last week was – other than the tantrum Lady M threw when she found out about the wedding slight – it was a fairly quiet week around here. MO exhibited uncommonly good sense and did not venture out without me.
Everyone was busy anyway, getting Malia ready for camp and Lady M and little Sasha packed for their ‘girlfriends’ trip to Spain. Spain! Are you thinking what I’m thinking? El Bulli! Ferran Adrià’s temple of molecular gastronomy: you know - where food is spun out of thin air and light, nothing is what it appears to be, and as much attention is paid to the vessel the food is placed in as the food itself. Sounds like comfort food in Oz.
El Bulli raspberry course, minimal and yet somehow still unsatisfying
El Bulli’s famous white foam on black base: meant to excite your palate and want more: much, much more
El Bulli chocolate and pinenut “plums”
El Bulli “mussels”
El Bulli pond scum soup, gilded with water lilies
El Bulli “olives” spheres of ephemeral olive flavoring. Will not work well in martinis.
“Molecular” used in conjunction with dinner doesn’t as a rule interest Lady M, as it seems to designate “tiny things.” But we’ve been told not to worry; that while each course is lacking in bulk, the tasting menu compensates with quantity: between 40 and 50 courses! Of course, each ‘course’ is only one bite. We could still have a problem: the last time MO restrained herself to just 50 bites at a meal was when she was recovering from a bout of food poisoning – which was quite suspicious and is still under investigation.
Anyway, it looks like we’ll be going to Spain just in time to enjoy El Bulli because the restaurant will be closing for good after this season. Apparently even at $500 per head (excluding the Stoli) the restaurant has been losing over half a million Euros per year. That sounds like economics we can believe it. Maybe if Lady M really likes it, she can get Big Guy to give them a bailout. Of course if we do, they’ll have to produce an alternate low-fat, vegan menu each night, to support our No Child’s Fat Behind program.
El Bulli’s peas: regular and “spun” into a sphere of good intentions
Kind of like at GM. Big Guy was in Motown yesterday, doing high-fives and taking victory laps in celebration of GM turning out such a wonderful little sardine can car, the Chevy Chevrolet Volt, with the $50 billion bailout Big Guy gave them.
Driving the GM Bailout: Behind the wheel of GM’s Green lemon
Oh, and they also created or saved 55,000 jobs with that money! Wow! Aren’t Obamanomics awesome!? Everyone is just as excited as can be, even the hard-to-impress NYT:
For starters, G.M.’s vision turned into a car that costs $41,000 before relevant tax breaks ... but after billions of dollars of government loans and grants for the Volt’s development and production. And instead of the sleek coupe of 2007, it looks suspiciously similar to a Toyota Prius. It also requires premium gasoline, seats only four people (the battery runs down the center of the car, preventing a rear bench) and has less head and leg room than the $17,000 Chevrolet Cruze, which is more or less the non-electric version of the Volt.
In short, the Volt appears to be exactly the kind of green-at-all-costs car that some opponents of the bailout feared the government might order G.M. to build.
Check out that body!
Meanwhile, back on the home front: because Sasha has seemed so sad lately, probably because she has to go to Spain instead of going to sleepover camp with Malia, Big Guy and Lady M took her to the International Spy Museum last night. When they got back they both looked really spooked. I have no idea what they have in that museum, but apparently it’s really unsettling. Or maybe it’s because of the book little Sasha selected from the museum store: The Dead Drop. I’ll admit, the synopsis is a little unsettling.
Spies like me
But it’s just a book. It’s nowhere near as unsettling as the real thing:
Next week we’ll all be back in our comfort zone, doing what we do best: Big Guy will be campaigning around the country, Lady M will be staying at 5-star resorts, and I’ll be refracting reality, making sure that nothing, indeed, is as it seems.
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These sad sacks have been moping for the last few weeks.
ReplyDeleteThe Clinton snub is truly luscious.LOL
I don't think Michelle really wanted to go the Clinton wedding. Gluten Free, Vegan Food? Not her style.
ReplyDeleteWelcome back, MOTUS! You have really been missed.
ReplyDeleteAnd what an entrance you've made today. Absolutely marvelous post! Thank you from the bottom of this MOL's heart — if I couldn't laugh along with you and the many others in this forum I would be morbidly depressed.
This alternate universe of Lord O's and Lard O's has me feeling like I'm on crazy pills most of the time. I can only imagine what kind of meds you must need. Let's hope they're covered by OCare.
PS: Will you be joining FLATUS on her "girlfriend" [insert eyeroll here] trip? What about Raj? Little Mo? Details, please!
Does Michelle Antoinette ever blush? She's spending how much of the taxpayers' money to try to repair whatever is wrong between her and Wee Sad-Face?
ReplyDeleteI know that when they wind up at the table in El Bulli they're all going to order a whopping round of "Male Codfish Roe."
ReplyDelete<span>We don’t have anybody on Team Obama with private sector experience, so I checked the interweb and it seems Secretaries always invite the boss to their kids’ weddings, just so he/she can say “Thanks, but I have a prior commitment.” At least the boss sends a nice gift.
ReplyDelete</span>
We had our “regrets” in final draft, just waiting for the invite to arrive. When it didn't come Big Guy was so ticked that he was thinking of calling Hill back to take some memos.
ReplyDeleteBi**h!
Thanks SQNon, it’s good to be back. Being a valued and loyal member of Team Obama (with my own kewl seal and everything), I am exempt from ObamaCare. I am on the special “Executive Plan”, which means, like Preggo, “It’s in there”!
ReplyDeleteOk! No smarty pants rumors, it’s sauce! And no rumors about the Wons hitting the sauce! Sheesh!
Ok, so our Spain plans are just coming together. Little Mo is definitely “in”, but Raj may be required to stay back with TOTUS. Seems Big Guy is hitting the trail to get his mojo back, and that’s not going to happen ad lib.
She’s really just trying to get to Spain before El Bulli goes under and before they outlaw bull fighting (one of MO’s sports passions). If it cheers Wee Won 2 up a bit, that will be a bonus.
ReplyDeleteOh, and no, she does not blush.
I don't think Chelsea needs an ipod filled with Barry's speeches.
ReplyDeleteMO would need a moral compass to blush; hence there is none.
ReplyDeleteWelcome back. We all missed you.
ReplyDeleteGuess what my husband and I were walking in downtown Amherst today and I said let's play MO and BO and pretended there was a camera on us and he starts kissing and hugging me and I continue looking straight in the camera expressionless.
That actually happened last night. It was on video described as an intimate moment between them...really between him and the camera.
You’re probably right about the “MCR” – it’s one of MO’s faves. Little Sasha on the other hand is way too young for such gender confusion. She’ll probably just get an icy cold glass of “Chocolate Milt.”
ReplyDeleteThanks GrannyJ. And thanks for keeping the ship of state on course during my absence.
ReplyDeleteI know big Guy loves the camera and, unfortunately for me, the mirror. Butt if you and hubby can get that act down pat, you have a shot at POTUS & FLOTUS! I know I could reflect for you!
You've heard of the X Factor--Barry was auditioning for the
ReplyDeleteIck Factor.
You can't fool us MOTUS, the chocolate/pinenut/plums are really tar balls scooped up from the beach at the Gulf.
ReplyDeleteAnd, the oil slick with the salt water foam on top is probably from the marshlands in N'Orleans. The "green pea" goop, sure, like they're really mashed peas.
I know MO made you do it to punish you for making her butt look fat. Is she holding lil' mo hostage, too?
So good to have you back, MOTUS!
ReplyDeleteThat no invite snub: quite a zinger that hit the mark, perfectly. You go, Hill!
Dessert, I mean revenge, is a dish best served cold. Sweet!
MOTUS, wouldn't it be fun to post a few "what would MO have worn if the Clintons liked her and had invited her to Chelsea's wedding" possible ensembles?
ReplyDeleteMOTUS,
ReplyDeleteThe "white foam on black base" looks suspiciously like a gelatinous mass of frog eggs floating atop a muddy water pond.
Busted!
ReplyDeleteBusted!
ReplyDeleteShe's scared of Little Mo, so he's ok.
It might just be me (will someone back me up on this, please? ) but El Bulli sounds like a cross between Ebola and e coli, creating 'E Boli' or something (see, not just Shakespeare and Sarahcuda can creat new words! ) Those foamy, slimy, turdy concoctions don't do much to 'refudiate' my theory either.
ReplyDeleteNever would have thought our 'lady' had such a refined palate. The portions alone must be so off-putting. Unless, of course it is a matter of survival. Or more likely: force of habit, stuffing her face with whatever is set in front of her.
It’s good to be back. Hill really B-slapped the Wons. It reminded me of the way she’d ice Bubba when he came home with lipstick on his shorts.
ReplyDeleteThat’s a great idea! I wish I’d gotten my “Lady M Dress-up Paper Doll Kits” into production. They’d be real handy for this.
ReplyDeleteOk: What would Lady M have worn to Chelsea’s wedding, if they had been invited? I’m not sure if MO is planning to crash the event, butt she did get this outfit out this afternoon.
Busted! Again!
ReplyDeleteFor a special anniversary a few years ago, dh and decided to treat ourselves to a very chi chi restaurant. When the first course arrived, it was presented with a flourish, it was the size of a pair of dice ! {with artistic streaks painted all around it, of God knows what } We looked at the food, each other, and the waiter, and burst into undignified, raucous laughter ! He was not amused !
ReplyDeleteI don't recall pouting as a kid, it probably would have been ignored, anyway.. But if I was sad at my Grandmother's she would tell me a wee mischievious elf would make my face freeze forever in that naughty expression. !
Seems like pouting has really been upgraded these days.
MO must be looking forward to hanging out with her gal pals (though not her ex-BFF Big O, that traitor getting the big invite to the 'Hill-Billy' wedding was so not cool) in Spain, and letting it all hang out. And maybe get some spa (lift/nip/tuck) treatments while they are at it.
ReplyDeleteThe food won't be all bad either. The O's did enjoy the mole sauce (it is supposed to be Mexican, but has it origins in Spain) at the Big White after all. And look, the mole sauce fits right in with the El Bulli creations: (glad to know little Mo will be safe, BTW. MO being scared of him definitely a good thing! )
I’ve got your back Jules. And “E Boli” . . . Bwahahahahaha!
ReplyDeleteI suspect MO will just take the entire platter of micro-offerings, rather than a single serving. On the plus side, those foamy, turdy things are all pumped up with rare, Noble gasses, so it might lighten her Densification Mass Footprint. For a few minutes anyway, until she burps or, well, you know, “squeezes a mouse.”
I love Chi Chi’s! Butt we stopped going when we got all cuddly with Rick Bayless and his Fronterra place. I guess waiters just don’t have any sense of humor anymore.
ReplyDeleteI’m going to try your Grandmother’s “face freezing” on the Wee Wons. I’ll just freeze their reflections for a while. Maybe it’ll work. Thanks for the tip.
Welcome back MOTUS! It's so great that Chelsea stiffed the O's. The business of "two presidents" as too distracting was so transparent (ah, finally). Supposedly the guest list was left up to the happy couple and they were inviting those with whom they share a "personal" relationship. No way in Hell would that be the O's. I do wonder though why Rep. Weiner was there. He's worse than a moper. I hope he didn't scream through the ceremony.
ReplyDeleteIt would warm my heart if they also stiffed the entire black caucus. Turns out most of them are either crooks (Rangel, Waters, Johnson, Jackson, Jr. +++), liars (John Lewis, Clyburn, etc.) or just plain dumb thinking that Guam will tip over and all. I don't think they would enhance the wedding pictures one little bit since some of them are going to wind up in the hoosegow. But then there's the little matter of the convicted felon and groom's daddy...oh, dear.
BTW, Motus, Love the picture of Baby Doc and FFA with the "Night of the LIving Dead" eyes. So true.
ReplyDeleteIs that a pre-food or post-food product for humans?
ReplyDeleteBarry and MOO: pout, pout, pout
ReplyDeleteGee, I wonder why Sasha does it.
Madame, the Weiner guy was probably invited because he recently married Hillary's own Reggie Love (her one time 'body woman', Huma Abedin)
ReplyDeleteMOTUS - Your most delicious post ever!
ReplyDeleteLoved the 007 parady poster a lot, too. Not quite the same without the macho hero and dreamy girls, huh? Speaking of pretty girls, whatever happened to those Russian spies who were caught?
I wouldn't put ideas into their heads (who knows which side they would be on) But IMO neither BO or MO would last too long. That deer in the headlights look alone, should they get caught would be too much of a risk. To even play one on Tee Vee or in the movies (did you hear Carla scored on that? ) you would have to have either brains or brawn/beauty, preferably both. Just sayin'.
That photo-op of BO in the Chevy Volt is unfortunate. The dummy in a lemon is not a pretty picture!
ReplyDeleteThat bowl of mole sauce gave Little Mo the creeps until I explained that only Rick Bayless makes it with real moles.
ReplyDeleteThanks Madame, it’s good to be back on the job. I’m glad little Chelsea’s wedding is over and went well. Little Chelsea was always fun and one of my girl-friends-for-life. She used to dress-up in Hill’s heels , earrings and put on makeup in front of me. <span>I was invited, but, Opps. </span> I would love to have gone, butt since the Wons got B-slapped by the Clintons, I really couldn’t. Don’t tell them I was invited!
ReplyDeleteAs for the past, current and future convicted felons invited, well, if you are in politics, most of the people you know will be one or the other.
New York Representative, and crazy screamer Anthony Weiner and wife were indeed at the big event. The former Huma Abedin is indeed Hill’s “body woman” but I think that role might be changing now that she is Huma Weiner. (giggles)
ReplyDeleteIt’s hard to be happy around here.
ReplyDeleteThanks! I’m thinking of doing a followup on the “BOnd Girls”
ReplyDeleteA lemon sitting in a lemon!
ReplyDeleteNooooo, that's her real name..Huma?
ReplyDeletePronounced like 'Ima'? Noooo.
Motus-- you should have submitted your name for the expensive new vehicle -- instead of a volt a "lime" (green lemon). I think it fits much better since it will only go 40 miles before needing a charge.
ReplyDelete