Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Our New Assistant Meets the Turkey

Today Big Guy’s issuing a proclamation that pardons a turkey. No, not North Korea, although they’ll be getting off with a harsh warning too.   Butt I’m talking about a real turkey. He’s currently being held hostage on the roof of the W Hotel here in D.C.

turkey pardon

It’s a presidential tradition to pardon the old Tom in time for the morning news cycle the day before Thanksgiving. At least I assume we’re pardoning him. Big Guy isn’t 100% on board with the policy, instead favoring Comprehensive Proclamation Reform for all turkeys, not just this one,fortunate, white one.

All I know for sure is that the whole thing is a charade. We pardoned the turkey last year too, butt what showed up on the groaning board the next day? That’s right, turkey. With extra drumsticks. So I’m just a little skeptical of Presidential Proclamations.

Meanwhile, on the administrative front, we’re working on bolstering our Big White staff, since so many people are leaving to spend more time with their families this holiday season. Here’s our latest “get:” a new East Wing special “assistant” for both BO and MO.

She’s Kristina Schake - democratic consultant par excellent. She’s from California, founded her own political consulting firm and used to be Maria Shriver’s assistant. So she’s got that going for her. 

schake   kori

Kristina, left, Kori, right.

Strangely, her big sis, Kori, is a research fellow at the Hoover Institute and an instructor at the U.S. Military Academy. She was also deputy director for policy planning in the state department under GWB- and director for Defense Strategy on the National Security Council for 41! She must be a much older sister.

Little sis, on the other hand, made a left hand turn and made her mark as the Director of Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger’s Summit on Obesity and the communications director for First 5 California, a group that helps with health, nutrition and education issues for the state’s children. That’s almost as good as a Community Organizer! So she’s a natural fit for Big White.

Boy, I bet the Schake holiday get-togethers are interesting.

Lady M had this to say about the arrival of the new East Wing Assistant:

“Kristina has done extensive work throughout her career on child nutrition and community health issues, and that, paired with her experience as part of a military family, will bring invaluable insight to our work on childhood obesity and our efforts to support military families.”

Fortunately our expert in child nutrition and community health isn’t starting until after Thanksgiving, so we won’t have to argue about the sweet potato casserole with all those yummy little marshmallows.

But let’s be clear: she’s not really the one we’ve been waiting for. That would be our new Executive Czar, that Newsweak has determined we need:

"The issue is not Obama, it's the office....Can any single person fully meet the demands of the 21st-century presidency?"


"Among a handful of presidential historians Newsweek contacted for this story, there was a general consensus that the modern presidency may have become too bloated."

There is a lot around here that is bloated- and I’m not talking about Lady M’s waistline – but the “modern presidency” isn’t one of them. The usual suspects include government size, bureaucracy gone wild, the national debt, and our opinions of ourselves.

bookends The smartest president ever, and the little-eyed fashion icon

It’s odd though. No one ever said that the “Presidency” was too big when GWB was here. Back then it was all “GWB is a war monger, a bad CEO, and an idiot who hates black people.”

Butt I guess things have gotten a lot more complicated since then.


Honestly, if you don’t have time to shoot a few hoops, and play a few rounds of golf with the boyz, what’s the point of being President?