We couldn’t hold a parade for our brave soldiers returning from the Iraq warfront because we were afraid that would rile up our antagonists, and we’d have to issue another apology. No, silly; I’m not talking about the Taliban (one apology a week is positively Big Guy’s limit on that). No, I’m talking about Big Guy’s other antagonists: the anti-war combatants. Not that there are that many of them:
Butt they have been getting feisty and there’s really no point in stirring them up. They’re still demanding that Big Guy come through on his promise to close Gitmo. And since Big Guy discovered he can’t release, relocate or place in witness protection all of the detainees (604 have already been released, butt that’s not enough: there are still 171 left) he tried to placate the “Close Gitmo Now!” club by building the remaining guys a new soccer field for $750,000.
I sure hope that makes them (the anti-Gitmo crowd) happy because they’ve been threatening to form a coalition with our Greenies – who are also threatening to leave the reservation.
Or at least to occupy the reservation by sitting out the next election all together – which won’t help us at all.
So, in lieu of a big showy parade we had a formal dinner for the warriors (or survivors) returning from the 10 year Iraq war at the Big White last night. Of course, we weren’t able to invite everyone who served (or died for) our country with valor in Iraq. So we just had a cozy little dinner for 100 representatives from the ranks of all the military services, plus their guests. So wow! That was, like, what - 200 people for dinner!
To express the country’s gratitude, we even served up some “occasional treats” that Lady M doesn’t normally allow:
Salad of heirloom tomatoes with baby mozzarella, basil and balsamic vinaigrette
Dry aged ribeye with béarnaise
Yukon gold potato croquettes
Chocolate creme brulee with brownie and mini-chocolate malted
After all, they did put their lives on the line to protect Lady M’s right to dictate what is served up in school cafeterias by SEIU food processors, handlers and servers. So last night, nothing was off-limits: rich béarnaise with a lovely USDA well marbleized steak, deep fried potato croquettes, cream brulee and two more chocolate desserts…mmm, mmm,mmm! Butt seriously, how can we ever adequately thank them for their service?
I know, I know: some people think a good way to start would be to stop apologizing to the Taliban for what our military members do in war zones that offends their cultural sensitivities. Butt there are just so many rules and nuances regarding their sensitivities. Take burning for instance:
Offensive: burning Korans
Not Offensive: burning Christians, U.S. soldiers and contractors:
[note: images self-censored due to their offensiveness to the majority of Americans. Which doesn’t count in this discussion, butt still.]
Anyway, I’m sure the troops understand why Big Guy apologized: he was just trying to calm things down. And as he told Bob Woodruff, he thinks it worked pretty well.
Wow! His ears really are big aren’t they?
Unfortunately, he may have spoken a bit too soon.
And a bit too long:
Everyone seemed to be losing enthusiasm as the speech droned on.
He even gave himself a headache:
From now on, we’re steering clear of the War on Terror – that seems to upset so many of Big Guy’s supporters – and stick with our Class War. That’s something we can all get behind. YES WE CAN!
NOTE: Tribute to Andrew Brietbart in post below:
We've lost a great and fearless leader, but the battle to reclaim our country and culture continues. No single person can possibly fill Andrew's shoes, so it will take all of us, working together, harder than ever. His spirit will guide us to victory.
Please read Greg Gutfeld's short but beautiful tribute: Andrew