ASSumptions and the Irony of TRUTH

I’m really busy getting ready for our big party later today. No, silly, not the NASCAR Daytona 500. Lady M had enough of the Ricky Bobby crowd to last a lifetime last summer.

Yes. You’re seeing right. A human American Flag! Made up of fans!

Get me the %#@# out of here Buh-rock! Now! I mean it!!

And no, I’m not talking about our Oscar party either. We have to defer that to Monday night when we watch Joan Rivers’ Fashion Police review of the Red Carpet hit’s and misses. Tonight we’ll be doing more sacrificin’ – we’re throwing our annual Governor’s Ball.

                 

Past Governor’s Balls: we always go glam

I’ll do my best, butt there’s usually a photo embargo at this event. This is to prevent any images of Big Guy and Lady M schmoozing with unacceptable R-word Governors being released to our base.

Q: When is it appropriate to point your finger? A: When you are the Won. And you’re PO’d

And did you see what that snotty Governor Brewer did? She snubbed us before we could snub her - again. That’s going to cost her: it’s her third strike.

" “A firm hand on the shoulder indicates to the touchee that you are in charge. This is a good way to deliver the message that ‘you are a subordinate: a little person’ and will encourage them to fall in line.”

Anyway, ASSuming we’re still here next year this time - and everyone around here is making that ASSumption – we’ll need to reschedule the Governor’s Ball so it doesn’t conflict with the Oscars. We have it on good authority that the new movie (currently being made) about the wondrous Won will be a winner next year. Lady M and Big Guy will have to attend, of course, to pick up their Oscars. It’s a shoo-in since we tapped Davis Guggenheim, the director of AlGore’s enormously popular An Inconvenient Truth. The working title for the sequel is An Inconvenient Polling Booth which we’re hoping will be enormously popular too.

The campaign paid more than $160,000 for the film, which is less than 30 minutes long and set to be released in the coming weeks, Goldman reports.

Guggenheim has worked for Obama before, directing a 30-minute ad than ran just before his 2008 election and a biographical clip for the Democratic National Convention that year.

Boy, I would think that with an additional 3 1/2 years of facts to work with, we could at least produce a feature length film. I know money’s no object so I can’t imagine what the problem is.

Anyway, like Guggie’s previous 2 winners, the Algorical  and the WON’s 2008 campaign film, this one will be a fantasy documentary too.

Now, one last exciting bit of news before I have to run to polish the silverware for dinner: yesterday’s discussion about our new Irony Czar got my creative juices flowing, and I revised my MOTUS Truth Team badge to get onboard with our newest sub-text: “isn’t it ironic.” What do you think?

(any similarity between MOTUS’ emblem and Hitler’s SchutzStaffel is purely ironic)

The new badge incorporates our official “SS” theme (See Something, Say Something), only in a much more ironic way.

A few of the currently proposed “irony symbols” for international use

Butt wait, there’s more! Because PortiaElizabeth asked, Little Mo & Little Bo have restocked the shelves of my little boutique with tons of new merchandise sporting the new emblem. Don’t tell Big Guy because my products are not manufactured by any of his bundlers.

Oh, and if you don’t “See Something” you want, “Say Something” and Little Mo will see if my elves can make it for you!

Here’s a sample:

The totebag would be a nice addition to your “save-the-earth by not using plastic bags at the grocery store collection”, or you can simply use it to irritate people at Whole Foods. Pull it over your head when you’ve managed to really honk them off (h/t NBK), butt remember to cut eyeholes: safety first!

Also, please remember: when you See Something (“SS”), report to the MOTUS Truth Team HQ and Say Something (“SS”). Here at the Won and only official WTF Truther site, we’re still taking names and kicking ASSets. I ASSume you’re all onboard.