I’m pleased to report that there is no tape of Lady M receiving a petition from Code Pink rep Karen Hull in San Fran last Friday. Code Pink Slime founder Medea Benjamin claims that MO “thanked her for her advocacy” and told her to “keep up the good work” when she handed her the “petition urging peacekeeping not war with Iran — a document signed by luminaries like Gloria Steinham, Alice Walker and Eve Ensler.”
Our official pool reporter was not in the room at the time of the alleged incident because, as you know, they’re only allowed into fundraisers for the actual delivery of remarks that have been preloaded onto TOTUS Won or TOTUS Too and then made available to the press. Therefore we have no impartial press confirmation of this incident, thank goodness. I can tell you only that Code Pink was there, and the rest is nothing more than a big Pink lie.
Big Guy was busy hitting the cash register yesterday too, butt not before stopping by for an egg McMuffin and a blessing at our annual Easter Prayer breakfast. After promising that he was “not going to stand up here and give a sermon” he gave a sermon. It was short though because this is the one area where he’s not an expert.
Which didn’t stop him from giving personal testimony to his Christian belief in Easter:
There are times where we have questions for God’s plan relative to us -- (laughter) -- but that’s precisely when we should remember Christ’s own doubts and eventually his own triumph. Jesus told us as much in the book of John, when He said, “In this world you will have trouble.” I heard an amen. (Laughter.)
Butt on to today’s agenda: Big Guy’s holding a Forum for Women at the Big White. He loves women. All women. Especially the ones that love him back at the polling place.
In fact he loves the women’s vote so much, he’s gone on record saying he thinks the Augusta Golf Club should change its stupid membership rules and admit women as members. The Augusta National Golf Club which is hosting the high-profile Masters tournament this week, so we thought it would be a good opportunity to weigh in on the weighty matter.
According to Jay Jay, Big Guy “believes Augusta should admit women. We’re kinda long past the time when women should be excluded from anything,”
Anyway, Big Guy’s already drawn up a new Executive Order. It will declare a ban on the sale or use of golf balls at any golf club that does not admit women. Such sexist policies (part of the Republican War on Women) have been shown to have a deleterious effect on women golfer’s self esteem resulting in anxiety and depression that forces women to seek medical treatment and the use of prescription drugs. Since this drives up the cost of health care for everyone, it places this violation of human rights under the auspices of the Commerce Clause provisions of Obamacare.
Also, AG Ricky Holder is preparing a lawsuit charging the Augusta Golf Club with racial hatred for holding it’s annual “Massa’s Tournament” - a clear reference to the South's history of slavery and Jim Crow laws. Additionally, the tournament features an all male field competing for a green jacket - here symbolizing the almighty dollar, not clean, economic alternative energy. The jacket is an emblem of membership in the elite 1% club, the very bastion of this country’s ongoing racial discrimination.
So how’s that for an election year twofer? A big thumbs up for women, a big thumbs down for the racist greedy rich.
If he wanted to go for a hat trick, Big Guy could have weighed in on ex-mayor Marion Barry’s “misstatement” about “Dirty Asians” too.
“We got to do something about these Asians coming in and opening up businesses and dirty shops,” Barry said on Tuesday night, according to video posted by WRC-TV/NBC4. “They ought to go. I’m going to say that right now. But we need African-American businesspeople to be able to take their places, too.”
Butt I guess two was enough for one week, we’re holding back for later in the month. Big Guy doesn’t personally know that many Asians and that will give him time to find one (preferably female, otherwise we would have made do with Stephen Chu) to call personally in order to offer his support. And to express his disappointment that she’s been the subject of inappropriate personal attacks. And to thank her for exercising her rights as a citizen to speak out on an issue of public policy.
Unfortunately though if Big Guy had a son, he surely wouldn’t look like any of them.
Unless, of course, his son had a tiger Mom:
Whoa Nelly! Is that Tiger in a green “Massa’s” jacket?!!
In an unrelated press release, we just announced this year’s official Easter egg colors for our egg roll on Monday: Code Pink, Asian Yellow and OWS Green.