Sunday, July 22, 2012

WTF 2012 Update: The New “Inflation”

I knew the lack of business experience in Big Guy’s administration would eventually get us in trouble. So here it is: we’re running a deficit. No – not THE deficit:

obama-deficit-e1334149698931H/T Jim Hoft

No, we’re talking about Big Guy’s personal campaign deficit.

Amid a heavy barrage of advertising by opposing “super” political groups, President Barack Obama’s re-election campaign spent more than it collected in June.

I don’t know if they realize it yet or not, butt this type of spending can’t go on forever. Obama 2012 is not like the government, they can’t just have the Bernanke perform a little “quantitative easing”

pant-bowl-diy_suppliesWhat do you say we ease those seams out a little for you? Give us a little more wiggle room.

So this just can’t go on. Somebody in Campaign Central -

hopeNo, it says right here: two “o” s

is just going to have to learn how to use that calculator ap.

mathematics“Learn more about this ap”

We can’t continue to rent space we aren’t going to use. Not only is it expensive, butt it looks bad when you pay to rent a 20 thousand seat arena for your campaign kickoff and half the people you hired to attend are no-shows.

guarding the emptiesGuarding all the empty seats at Ohio State’s Jerome Schottenstein Center

It's a campaign faux pas to hold an event in a room that isn't full; to promise the media a more-than-capacity crowd then fall this far short of that promise is utter incompetence.

lets dance moboMay 5, Campaign Kickoff at Ohio State: Sure looks lonely up in the balcony

mo head cheerleaderButt being the trooper she is, Lady M doesn’t let the incompetence effect her performance

mo thank gawd it's overButt make no mistake, she wasn’t happy with the incompetent

Still, it’s not too late to WTF. We still have a cool $97 million in the bank. Of course, at our current burn rate, that’s only 2 and half months worth of expenses - and that’s before we have to buy votes for the actual election. So, we’re looking for ways to be more frugal. The first thing we did was start charging Lady M’s expenses to “administrative fees” instead of the campaign, although she’ll continue to pick up the charges for personal items such as gum, mints and pocket tissue herself.

So although our 2012  WTF: FORWARD kickoff got off to a rocky start at Ohio State by spending $93 thousand dollars to rent a stadium that held twice as many people as showed up, the Big Brains have a plan. The Old-School way of “If you rent it, they will come” doesn’t work, so they’ve developed a New-School way. It’s a much more cost effective and reliable way to fill our seats. Instead of relying on fickle Democrats humans, we’re going with the all new, virtual composite crowd butts (VCCB). That’s right! It’s the Amazing Inflatable Crowd! Used in over 80 movies and TV shows, they are now making their realistic inflatables available to Big Guy to WTF. As explained in their promo materials:


“We provide an unparalleled level of detail customized to match the look of your crowd including everything necessary to blend the inflatables in seamlessly among the real, non-inflatable extras.”  (H/T Charlie)

Wow! “They’ll even match the look of your crowd!”

the adulation continuesCan you tell which ones are real, and which ones are inflatable? Me either!

And you’ll be happy to know that Inflatable Crowd has successfully defended themselves against a patent lawsuit filed against them in 2007 by Crowd in a Box as documented in the Hollywood Reporter article: Judge Dismisses Crowd Dummy Case.

So based on the verdict in the Dummy case, Team Obama has gone ahead and generated their own “Inflatable Barry.”  Since we all know you can’t be in two places at once even if you have super powers, and we’ve got a lot of money to raise, we’ve created a cost effective solution with nothing more than a thin-skinned facsimile that’s filled with air.

This allows Team Obama 2012 to conduct multiple, synchronized fundraisers (because time’s a fleetin’). You can Rent-a-Barry inflatable for a fraction of the cost of the real thing to address your group or organization and help us raise money for Big Guy’s reelection. We’ll even throw in a TOTUS 2 model to ensure a realistic presentation.

So don’t delay, contact our Team Obama Inflated HOPE and CHANGE Dream Team today to line up the Barry of your choice for a very reasonable rate, before all the good dates are gone:

                2008-11-04_obama_mccain_dollsboneka obama-rumah kaininflatable barry copy 

Select a Barry-Inflatable that blends in best with your group 


(NOTE: price does not include the reasonable and customary processing, shipping and handling fees)

So let’s get going out there: less than 4 months left! And we still need what ever money you’ve got left. Don’t let the Republicans stop what we’ve already got planned for your great-grandchildren’s future.


And don’t forget: you could still win a dinner with Lady M and Big Guy: the real thing or the inflatable facsimiles – your choice.

Linked By: BlogsLucianneLoves, and Lalaa Land on facebook, and NOBO2012 on Free Republic, Thanks!