Don’t say you didn’t get anything you asked for this Christmas.
The Tea Party gave Boehner’s Plan B from Outer Space a giant thumbs down last night, thus ending this season’s finale of Washington’s kabuki theatre with a real cliff hanger.
It wouldn’t have made any difference. Had the Speaker herded his troops up to voluntarily march off the cliff, Harry had already announced that he was getting’ nuttin’ for Christmas.
Senate majority leader Harry Reid, a Democrat, made his “fiscal cliff” position clear in a press conference today. “We are not going to do anything,” said Reid.
Reid added, “We are not taking up anything they are working on over there.”
And BO had already said he would veto the Boehner Bargain if it somehow miraculously made it to his irresolute desk before Christmas.
So the Christmas Pass the buck bill had no Christmas future anyway, butt now it has no Christmas present either.
Not that any of this matters, as the Mayan’s have deemed today the end of days anyway.
Lady M did not receive the news well, and she took matters into her own hands. She and Harry have been busy in the food dessert, working out a deal with the devil to avoid earth falling off the map of the universe. Here are some exclusive photos of them performing an ancient Mayan ceremonial ritual. If successful, their grand bargain with you-know-who will extend our Occupation of planet earth for at least another 4 years:
We should know by midnight if the devil took them up on their offer. BTW, has anybody tried to call Australia this morning?
In the meantime, in case this evening’s meal is your last, what would you fix? Remember, you can afford to sell all your earthly possessions in order to finance it, so the sky’s the limit. Would you make Adrienne’s standing rib roast? Or would your tastes run to lobster? Or maybe just a great burger, pizza or pan of lasagna? Tell me, tell me!
Here’s what I’d fix. It’s humble fare butt holds a special place in many people’s hearts around here because Dewey’s Mom used to make it by the 5 gallon kettle every year for Christmas Eve. It fed everyone who still lived at home, was coming home, or simply stopped by to wish everyone tidings of the season. This makes enough to feed a small herd of reindeer, a choir of angels and a few Grinch's butt it can easily be doubled. Dewey’s Mom called this “Gump’s Goulash” as her Dad (“Gump” to the grandkids) always made it on Christmas Eve when she was young. We just call it “Mom’s Goulash” now.
1 lb. bacon (find a good one that doesn’t have any “natural smoke flavor” added, butt is simply naturally smoked – Oscar Mayer is a decent choice)
3 lbs. ground beef or chuck
4-5 medium onions, chopped
3 large cans of good tomatoes with juice, squeezed by hand into chunks if whole ( or roughly pulsed)
2 stalks celery, finely chopped
1 1/2 tsp. garlic powder
Salt, pepper to taste
1 lb.pkg. of noodles
Chop bacon into small pieces and cook until brown and crisp.
Remove bacon and – now this will scare some people, butt remember, the world is coming to an end anyway – cook the onions in ALL of the bacon grease. When lightly browned, add chopped celery and cook another 2-3 minutes. Place onion/celery mixture in a bowl and set aside.
Return pan to heat and brown the ground beef. Drain most of the fat (if you must) add salt and pepper to taste, garlic powder, tomatoes with juice plus a cup of water, onion /celery mixture (including the bacon grease they cooked in), and reserved bacon pieces. Stir well and bring back to a simmer and let it cook while you prepare the noodles.
Cook noodles according to package directions (don’t forget the salt!). Drain and add immediately to goulash mixture . Stir to combine and continue simmering pn a very low heat for about 30 minutes, adding a little extra water if it begins to stick.
You can eat it now if you must, and it will be delicious. Butt trust me on this: if you can make it a day ahead and rewarm it slowly the next day it’s even better!
Gump’s original recipe called for a cup of chopped green bell pepper, butt since nobody in Dewey’s family would eat them, they never once made it into the Christmas Eve pot. I leave it to your discretion, butt I can assure you that it is perfect without them.
Crusty bread, green salad: it’s a humble feast.
As a wise man once said: “it don’t get no better than this.”