It’s always for the children isn’t it? I’ll get to that in a New York minute.
First, this important announcement for all of you MODs, and the MOLs who love them. I’m just going to go out on a limb and announce this as the fashion trend we’ve been waiting for: Junk Jeans for men, “Because men aren’t flat, so why are their jeans?”
Just when you begin to think that America isn’t great anymore, along comes a great invention like this to quiet your inner skeptic: jeans with built in gussets to accommodate men’s, uh, anatomy. I forecast an immediate success for this obvious (although not always flattering) invention. I even have a few suggestions for celebrity endorsements:
Or how about this pitch: “Hey girl! What do you say you trade in those “mom jeans” for some real he-man jeans?”
As with many innovations, Junk Jeans immediately present new issues and controversies. Take sizing for example: waist, length and length? S, M, L, XL, XXL? One size fits all? Gusset capacity stated in inches, pounds or stones (for our British friends)?
I suppose in the scheme of things this issue seems minuscule (ouch! Sorry guys.), butt if you’re looking for a little (sorry again!) financial tip in the new year I’m just going to go out on a limb here and recommend you invest in Hanes, Wigwam and Gold Toe.
Secondly – and this is all in fun - I’m thinking of starting a gallery of men who won’t be interested in this wonderful new invention. Let me know if you can think of any candidates.
Also in the news yesterday: Big Guy picks up another award! That’s right; the rare and therefore coveted “upside down Pinocchio” was awarded to BHO by the WaPo Fact Checker.
This honor was bestowed in the Democrat Hypocrisy division “I voted against it before I voted for it” (not to be confused with the “I voted for it before I voted against it” award, same division).
For making an argument that the president now decries as politics, he earns the upside-down Pinocchio, signifying a major-league flip-flop.
Butt now, back to the children who are about to be used as human shields as Big Guy announces the Big White’s
gun grab “save our children” gun policies. Stand by: update tomorrow.